I almost completely forgot that at one time in my life, I actually cared about writing a blog. Blogger sounds so old, and outdated, and ancient.
Facebook directed me via memories to this blogspot page, and as I read the entries about my early days as a mother, I was slightly saddened that I didn't continue writing much after Ramone was born. His birth really flipped my world upside down and inside out. It shattered my glossy and shimmery view of motherhood that my daughters created. He's been the same, oppositional, ninja punk kid since birth, and now he's almost taller than me.
Since I last wrote in 2019, way too many things have happened. I guess I'm glad I didn't write about all the life changes that occurred with the things that occurred around the years 2020. Perhaps you know what I'm referring to, but that was absolutely earth shattering and life changing. Although I had already started down the rabbit holes of conspiracy lunacy, the years following 2020 and the events that took place really didn't shock me. What did shock me was how divided people got, and how my life style at the time pushed certain people away from my life.
And here we are, on the brink of wars and natural disasters in our country and changes in the collective consciousness of biblical proportions. Or something like that.
Those who know me know what big changes have occurred in my life but I'm ready to write again and use this space to share what I really need to write down.
I started this blog as "Sara The Sub". I left my "subbing" job at the LA County High School for the Arts in 2010, and from 2010-2023 I worked mainly in Early Childhood Education while I raised my children.
In Spring of 2023, I decided I was tired of running my own business and hustling for another dollar as a musician, educator, speaker, cold-pressed juicer, and performer. Something called me back to substitute teaching and although my intent was to go back to LACHSA, that didn't happen. I ended up in the juvenile justice system.
The first day I rolled up to the parking lot at the hall in the Valley, I went through the security doors after they sent me back in for having a fanny pack. Clear bags only. I walked through 5 different doors before I reached a yard outside that had a round walkway up to the school office. Little did I know how many doors I would have to have opened for me in a given day since everything is locked and teachers can't have keys.
I don't remember the first group of boys I subbed for but I remember going up into the unit as they didn't have school in the classroom due to a lack of probation staff. A teacher and I delivered school packets up into the day room of the unit that was small, filled with sunlight, and had 2 metal tables. I remember it smelling of trash and there were boys sitting on the backs of chairs playing play station. The other teacher put his hand in his pocket and took out some small candies that he offered the boys. It wasn't a reward for anything, he was just letting them have a treat.
After that first day in the hall, I had this feeling that it was what I was meant to do. Having a son that was so oppositional and defiant really geared me up to working with this population. I looked at each boy like he was my own son, and asked myself how would I treat Ramone if he was acting such. The instability and chaos I was about to embark on was not known to me at this point, but I decided to take the plunge and dive head in first to a really sad world where children are forgotten.
No comments:
Post a Comment