Am Iowa

 In 5th grade, one of my best teacher's assigned us to write and make a book. We had to bind it with cardboard and contact paper, and we added our stapled stories to the makeshift binding. 

I remember my dad helping me with the project. My dad wasn't one to help much with homework. Probably because I didn't ask him or need the help, however, I did bug him a few times in my life to help with creative projects. 

One likely school night, we were at my house, (the house I live in now) and he and I were on the couch brainstorming ideas for my book. I probably shed a tear or two arguing about it from my vague recollection, but it was still an overall good memorable experience. 

My dad told me to name the girl Tammie. I may have spelled in "Tammy". Tammy was a caucasian girl from the city of "Am, Iowa". Not sure where my dad got that one from, but I wouldn't be surprised if it had not been original. Anyhow, Tammy from Am was a curious girl who one day stepped out of her likely boring house void of devices because it was the 1980's, and while walking down a very poorly drawn cement sidewalk, over a wall she notices a "Hole in the Sky", and a ladder slowly lowering itself down from this hole. Did Tammy think about how weird this was? No. Did Tammy ask herself, "What the fuck is a ladder doing coming out of a black hole in the middle of the sky?". No. Tammy just decided to walk up the yellow poorly drawn ladder and walk inside of the hole. 

On the next page of this pink dotted cardboard, crappy, homemade, warped book, Tammy enters into some kind of Candy Land looking universe. In the book it looks more like a teeny lame neighborhood with poorly drawn landscapes. As she strolled down another cement sidewalk in this new alternate universe, Tammy notices that many things in this Candy Land bunkery, (that's a word my students use to describe a wack ass situation) then sees that many things around her are grey and turned to stone. She sees stone figures that look like children, flowers, and if I had been more illustrative and thoughtful I would have added some lovely water fountains or swings. She also sees a type of podium. Let's says its an ornate, gold podium that looks like a music stand with a treble clef at the center. On it was a book opened to a page that looks like the Sleeping Beauty books at Sleeping Beauty's castle at Disneyland. Instead of written in gold plated calligraphy, it was written in my horrible 5th grade print. It read: "When there is trouble, and skies are grey, she will come from Am to save the day". Well, well, well. My dad and I were truly poets who didn't know-its. Tammy was so baffled when she realized that it had been her fate to save this world, and it was up to her to fulfill an ancient prophecy that finally reached her. Tammy always knew she was special, deep down. But did she realize only she had the power to use her angelic light force to save "Sara's version of a Candy Land drawn of bunkery"? 

She knew. She absolutely knew without a doubt and without fear that she was meant for this job. She looked around at this Candy Land of bunkery gone gloom, and before she could ask or think how she would fulfill this legend, a dark cloud started forming. A troll like looking face popped out of the cloud like a smokey goblin and started putting his nasty, long nailed finger out of the cloud and touched the objects that had not yet been turned to stone. Some lonely colorful objects of nature began to turn from radiant colors never seen on the spectrum we know to concrete. This grotesque creature was named, "The Ting". Well, well, well. Yet again, Mr. Horlick proves to be a literary genius by helping me give the characters in my story such unique identities. The Ting was evil. The Ting represented everything that Tammy hated. She hated anyone trying to dim her light. She hated anything that would suck the life out of a living object and send them to her version of "Pebble Valley", a land where the ultimate, boring suffering fate should exist. Before hesitating, without a flinch, Tammy extended her arm and touched the Ting on his hand. (If I remember correctly) And before the story had a chance to accrue any real tension or conflict, she saved the day. It was that easy. 

Maybe one or two things happened before or after, and if my old brain can remember correctly, I think 5th grade Sara and her dad wounded down this adventure by having the little kid statues turn into living rainbow children named ..... named..... oh, I remember now. Tim and Kim. Or Pam and Sam. I don't know but I'm sure it rhymed, making my dad feel like a real Dr. Suess. Tim and Kim told Tammy she was all bad ass and thanked her for saving them from a stony eternity. And they would not have been able to be stoned during this eternity, so that would have been really a punishment. Stoned as in "high", not treated like a witch in old time Salem. Ok, I digress. Tim and Kim, or Pam and Sam were like, "la la la, we're so happy she saved us!", and "La la la! Candy Land of Bunkery is purty again and no this story is nothing like the Wizard of Oz!". 

A space craft then came out of the sky and shined some rainbow light on the land and I think some fairy lady, or the Queen of this alternate universe thanked her and told her she was meant to be this winner of life. I think that was the end. I didn't mean to recount it but the reason I'm writing this at all is because 1) I wanted to remember it. 2) It reminded me of a story I'm reading with Ramone. 3) I needed a blog entry for today. 4) I think the story is worth remembering and I know my dad will appreciate this. AND 5) I'll try to keep this as a reminder that spending time with my son doing homework - even when it feels excruciating and frustrating because he is acting up and causing all sorts of bunkery, will be something he may never forget.