Happy 2nd Birthday Effie Rosey Goo Goos

Since I don't really write in a journal/diary anymore, I'll write about Effie's birthday, just to have it recorded somewhere.

Around 3pm after we took a nap while the girls watched Care Bears, we decided to begin Effie's birthday bash, just the four of us.

We asked the big sister what she thought would be fun for her little sister, and she said a party at Griffith Park.

So we went there.

Celia kept looking for all the guests, but we told her it was a private party, and she seemed to understand, and Effie was quite happy on the see-saw as usual.

Celia has a new digital camera, so she took many pictures of the event.

They got sandy and stinky enough, so we then proceeded to the next part of the birthday festivities.

We embarked on a mission to get Effie a Minnie Mouse toy at the mall.

We rarely go to the mall, so we tried to park as close to our destination store as possible to avoid any encounters. God forbid people think we are normal and go to the mall. Ha ha. You know I'm messin.

We made it to the Disney Store, not before we explained to the first born that she could not have a gift, cuz she already had a snazzy digital camera, and it wasn't her birthday. She was only upset cuz Effie didn't choose a fancy princess present. She decided on two $4 MInnie dolls. Minnie cheerleader, and Minnie fancy green dress. Score for us. And as a bonus, Celia was excited for her sister.

We then proceeded to the parking lot, but not before Celia insisted on a hot dog on a stick. (Thanks Becky) So we took her. There in line, Effie met another Minnie obsessed child. How fascinating.

Eating was not as painful as it can be at times. No yelling, spilling, falling, crying. Score.

The departure from the mall was also easy. No one hassled us, I only ran into 2 people I knew, and Celia didn't mind not going into the pet store. It was time for private birthday party adventure part 3.

Library or cake? Hmmm. What were we to do next?

We skipped the library. I was already tired, but the night was young.

We made it to a ghetto party store in Glendale, where the girls got happy birthday balloons. Effie got a ...... can you guess??? A minnie balloon. Celia got a Tinker Bell one. It was interesting. Again, no crying, gimmie gimmies, or Effie accidents. Score.

The night continued. Bowling? Cake? What to do. So we went to the Goodwill.

There were 3 vintage toys in the box for sale. A She-Ra Princess of Power Horse, another Enchanted Pegasus toy, and a radical set of 4 animal cups from the 70's, and a ridiculously large box of zoo animal figures and dinosaurs. Score. Plus, the mean ass manager hooked up a deal even though she said she was in a bad mood.

Birthday Party adventure was not over, however the kids were getting cranky. Celia insisted on holding the She-Ra toy and promised not to open it. I told her she can't have it until I determine its value. Since it's only worth about $30 bucks, I may just let her play with it, or give it to Cathie for Christmas. Either way, there was still no excessive crying or whining so we were in good shape.

After a quick stop at the bank, we made it to Whole Foods, where Effie and I ran out to pick her birthday cake. She chose a $4 mini cheesecake, and I got a chocolate one for the older kid. Done.

6 destinations later, we made it home. After a good hand scrubbing we sang Happy Birthday and Effie learned how to say "Two" after being asked how old she was. Score.
She liked whip cream more than the cake (as usual) and once she had her full, she began to squish cake and cream in her fists and then rub her fists in cups of milk then slurp on her fists. The Destructor was happy. And so was I.

Good night everyone.

"Ask and You Shall Receive" plus a "Secret of Life"

1. This is my second blog of the night - so be sure to keep reading.
2. I have a lot to say so just chill out, relax, and read on if you like.
3. I didn't draw this portrait. Some kid drew a picture of me.
3. Remember, as I have said before: Do not take my advice.
4. Some things I say right now may be shameful things Dr. Laura would not approve of.

So, I've been doing some laundry for the past couple of hours only because I think tonight is daylight savings night, which means I have an extra of hour of life. Wonderful.

All this cleaning has really done a job on my brain. The more I fold clothes, the more my desires in life come out into the open. I want new chonies, and new cheese grater, some aluminum foil, and fabric softener.

The more I think about the things I want, I think about the people who help me. And for those of you who take time out of your own busy schedules each week to help me care for my kids - (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE! YES YOU!) I want you to know how much it means to me, and THANK YOU and I LOVE YOU! And thank you ALSO to those who give pets and presents to my children. And to those who hook me up with their old clothes. And for those who hang out at my house every once in awhile and play Go Fish or tea with my kids while I cook, make cookies, or wash dishes. Thank you. You rock.

And you know what? This all leads to something else that was racing through my head tonight - and that is - women are much more bitchy than men. You know why? Cuz men make them bitchy.

(Don't get me wrong - I'm not bitchy today and Alex has given me and my kids an amazing week but I just felt like I should write this)

And you know what? This leads to my secret of life. Men make women bitchy for various reasons.

1. They don't understand the impact of their words.
2. They do not read our minds and do exactly what we wish they would do.
3. They are much more passive.
4. They are animals of a completely different species - where we women are kind, loving, humans.

With these 4 things stated, let me tell you how I get what I want and make peace in my life (at times - not all the time)

1. I ensure to have eaten properly before yelling at my husband. Or if the bitch begins to reveal herself - he asks if I have been properly fed. If I have not been properly fed, he will then just take the blows and wait for sanity to come back into my head after eating food.

2. If the bitch comes around and I'm really tired, I take a quick nap to ensure the proper functioning of my brain.

3. If there is something I WISH my hubz would tell me that he hasn't said - I tell him the words - word for word - that I would like him to repeat in order for me to regain sanity and to contain the beast. It really works, cuz come on - guys are not mind readers - but when given instructions sometimes they follow to your surprise!

All this may seem like nonsense - and it's quite jumbled, sarcastic, and really is silly - but what I'm trying to get at, is life is not as difficult as people make it out to be. The only thing that matters is this instant. Everything that happened yesterday is over. Something that may happen tomorrow may never come. So just deal right now. (I know this is preachy - and it's hard to practice what you preach - but I can try can't I?)

So all this being said leads to the asking part.

You know what? I really, really want a new camera. Most people who read this blog ARE SUPER GENEROUS and always give me these super duper birthday presents, from gift certificates to coin purses, and I LOVE everything. And you know what? My birthday is coming up, and I can't stress how bad I want a new camera. Well, I've asked my viejo, and he may forget about it or only have the means to get me a disposable one, so I'm calling out to readers:

IF you were thinking of so generously giving me a gift for my birthday or Christmas this year - as you usually do - can you please consider a donation towards the "Sara really wants a kick ass used digital camera so she can take super pictures of her friends and kids Fund". ??

Times are tough. I know. But I believe in the power of shameless requests. Be it 3 bucks, or 15, I'll take it. And I promise it will go towards my dream camera, that will undoubtedly take your picture many times before you die.

It can't hurt to ask huh? Trust me. One day when I strike it rich, I'll return the love. All I can give you now is about 7 minutes a week of entertainment by reading my blog. You peeps who read give me much more in return. So thank you. I love you. And I better stop this insanity so that my Dad can go ahead and make a comment.

Good night
And for any men who were offended by reading this - "Suck it up, be a man and get over it. You know it's true - and if you don't fall into those categories - you're a sissy and women will love you for it!" Ha ha ha.

Sandy

Today, around 10am, Alex said "Whoooo's ready to go to the beach?"

No one said anything. My kids hadn't eaten the chorizo and eggs I made them for breakfast, but they did eat some cookies and milk, so I was making them fideos so they could eat something with a tad more nutrients. I had tons of laundry to do. Effie had already done dishes for an hour this morning. (BTW - She's quite good. I've been meaning to tell you all, but she really washes. She's fascinated with the scrubber and wasting dish soap and to top it all off - I caught her using a knife to scrape some caked-on grilled cheese off of a frying pan. I cried a tear)

Anyhow, 2 hours later, the kids watched an hour and a half of The Three Caballeros, while I:

Fed them the sopita.
Cleaned up 40% of the kitchen.
Made the bed.
Put in a load of laundry.
Got dressed.
Changed Celia from pajamas to hula gear.
Changed Effie's diaper twice.
Brushed their teeth.
Brushed my teeth.
Borrowed Mayo from the neighbor.
Made 2 chicken salad sandwiches.
Made 2 pbj sandwiches.
Packed juices.
Packed bananas.
Packed extra clothes, towels, and other stuff.
Made a vegetable/chicken soup for dinner.
Changed Celia from the hula gear to a fancy dress with a sash and rainboots.
Changed Effie from her nude self to day clothes.

Some other stuff happened, like Celia very seriously trying to learn Veracruz style Mexican folk dancing - thanks to Donald Duck, and Effie hiding inside the sofa cushions, but we made it outta the house around 12:30 and got to the beach in no time. We ate our sandwiches in the car.

When Alex says "the beach" I get a little nervous.

Well, when an outing involves SAND, lots more Sand, and Sand stuck in butt crevices. I tend to want to stay home. But I didn't say a thing and just went with the flow. Cuz I Do LOVE the beach - but with babies it can be interesting.

We got to the beach and it was rainy. I didn't say a thing.

As we walked to the beach as we passed a lovely creek with ducks, and Celia said in her over exaggerated, coy princess voice - (if you know her you know what I'm talking about)

" OOhhhh Mother!!!! Thank you SOOOO much for bringing me to the beach!!! I just Loooove walking in the dirt with my rainboots!"

The other day when we were trick-or-treating she said in front of some family -
"Ohhhhh Mother! Look at the Beeeeauuutiful stars in the sky! Aren't they LOVELY!?"

(I just shrugged and said I had nothing to do with such behavior)

Anyhow, all my fears of sand were put aside, and I just enjoyed each (as corny as it may sound) magical parent moment - even when:

Effie ate shit in the sand and a wave crashed over her head.
Effie got stuck in a big hole.
Effie got lots of sand in her eyeballs.
Effie got lots of sand in her mouth.
Effie made crunchy noises cuz sand was in her teeth.
Celia freaked out cuz she got her hair wet.
i had to clean sand out of 2 different butts.
And when I watched my car that I just washed for the first time in months get covered with SAND.

It was awesome. Thanks Alex.

I Said:

I said that I would write again this weekend cuz I had something to write about. Well, I just should have written it then, cuz I can not remember what I was gonna write about.

That kind of thing always happens to me. Like when I'm holding a set of keys, and I say to myself "I'm gonna put them right here so I don't forget where I put them", or I'll have a paper and say "I think I'll put this very important paper right here in this folder so I won't forget where I put it", and of course, I can not remember. That's the downside to being unorganized, but I'm working on it, and I haven't lost my wallet in quite awhile, knock on wood.

Thank you to the blog followers by the way.

Hmm. It's really bothering me that I can not remember what I was gonna write about. I thought about it the other night, while I was up doing all the house stuff, and now, I'm in the same boat. I've been up, surfing the internet super highway, just to read about other moms who seem to do a million more things than I do. I think they just publish books to make me look bad. Whateva. But now I'm mad that I can't remember.

Remember. Remember. Come on Sara. You can do it. I know you can. I think you can... I thought you could.

Was it about your neighbor and almost losing their cat while they were outta town? no.

Were you gonna write about the neighbors who invited you to worship with them? no.

Was it about Effie wearing lots of blue eyeshadow for the Halloween party? no.

Were you gonna write about something very strange that Alex said to you? probably.

Ok. This is hopeless. Why don't YOU tell me something about yourself? Huh? I'm tired of all this writing about me. Oh, yeah, but this IS my blog. Hmff...

This is a lost cause. The world is in chaos. The markets are down. Elections in a little more than a week. My kids are strange. I have WAY too much on my mind. And I have nothing to say. Oh well. I guess it's just one of those days. I think I'll stop wasting your time, and go read a blog about one of those super mommies. Maybe I need some inspiration.

Peace out fools. I love you all.

Just Stop Thinking

Hi Kids. Thank you to Becky, Cathie, and Lucena for signing up as blog followers. I'm glad you are not ashamed. Hee hee.

The more I think about what I should write about on any given day, the harder it becomes to write. For the past hour, I've been doing laundry, making mole, (mol-eh, a mexican dish, not an animal or an enlarged freckle), doing dishes, and surfing craigslist for fine, used, automobiles. During this time my mind has been racing with thoughts from the past week. We seem to do a lot even though at times it seems like we don't do anything.

Celia tends to have lengthy conversations with herself. We took a walk the other day and she insisted on taking out her "map" out of her "backpack", then creating some adventures prior to arriving at our destination. (too much Dora)

She also had a long conversation with her poop the other day. I'm shooting myself in the foot for not having recorded this but here are some of the things I remember her saying while she sat on the toilet. (Please don't tell her I wrote this down when she's older)

"Poop! Here comes some Pee- Pee! Watch out - you're gonna get wet!!"
"Oh No! This is a terrible situation! What are we gonna do!"
"Ha ha ha! Wait! No NO! Poo poo - please hold still!"
"Watch out or your butt's gonna get a rash!"

(this type of screaming went on for at least 15 minutes. I had to pick her up off the toilet or I'm sure it would have continued for a good hour)

Yesterday and today I found out what Effie (a.k.a. to some as the "Destructor") would do if I didn't take away her unfinished portions of food.

I gave her a bowl of rice, and a glass of orange juice. When she was done with both, she decided to mix rice into the orange juice, which she would then drink. Then she would remove grains of rice from the orange juice and put them back in the bowl, then eat them with a spoon.

Today I gave her a glass of apple juice at the table, which she mixed into a cup of mint chip ice cream. Later, she poured out the juice from the sippy cup onto the table, then rubbed her hands in it as if it were finger paint, then would rub her face and hair. She was all gross and sticky until I put an end to her destructor madness.

Yeah, my kids are perty funny. My dad witnessed a tantrum from the depths of the underworld today that I blame on a poor breakfast. Hmm. Good times. Good times.

I think I'll write again on Sunday, so stay posted. I actually had something else in mind to write about today, but I'll save it. And don't let me write any more dream entries. It seems like since I wrote that last one, my dreams have gotten weirder.

Oh - for those of you who make mole - and use the glass jars of Dona Maria to make it, put it in the blender first. What a world of difference that made. I think it takes about an hour out of the mole making time. Now I think I'll make mole sauce to pour over eggs, burritos, pizza, mint chip ice cream, or whatever.

44 Stories Later

And now time for a dream.

If you know me - you know I like to sleep. In fact I'm almost always yawning. I'm tired a lot. Sleeping is real fun, and cozy, and wonderful, and whenever I remember my dreams, I know I've slept ok.

I'm the kind of person who can fall asleep within 20 seconds of putting my head down, and even if I get 10 minutes to doze, it'll do me a world of good. In fact, just now, I put my kids to bed, took a little nap, and now I'm up and at em.

I would've thought I was pregnant last night cuz my dream was so bizarre. But NO I'm not pregnant - but what I mean by that is when I was pregnant- those 18 combined months of being a host for a fetus - I had the weirdest dreams all the time. Some dreams included me swimming in the middle of the ocean watching cannonballs wizz past me while I was wading in the water with Danny DeVito. In another, my friend Vicky and I were on the lookout for second hand sofas on a deserted island.

Well, last night my dream included some of these things - in random order:

Driving my sister's bug to San Francisco.
Arriving in SF and receiving a collect call from Ireland where someone asked me to host a couple in my house.
Going to the dentist for x-rays.
Going to another dentist for a check up.
Seeing someone I knew at the x-ray dentist.
Then seeing them again at the check up dentist.
When I saw them at the check up dentist, that person said "Seen anyone we know lately?", and I said "Yeah, I saw you at the x-ray dentist a minute ago."
Getting a text from my sister that said she was evacuated from her house due to large announcements made by airplane that there was gonna be an earthquake.
Going back to LA to see those big airplanes.
Those airplanes turned into huge rocket ships that shook the ground when they'd fly past me.
Those huge rockets turned into aliens.
Those aliens multiplied and gave me birthday presents.
My mother-in-law asked me who got my kids those cute gifts.
I told her they were from the aliens.
There was never an earthquake.
I walked with my brother-in-law along a maze while I watched him carry my 2 kids.
One fell out of his arms but I caught her.
I ended up on a bus to mexico and saw Alex at one of the stops.
The bus driver wouldn't pick him up cuz he had 2 strollers, so he said go to the next stop.
I ran off the bus to help Alex and we ended up RUNNING miles chasing after a bus with kids and strollers in our hands.
(it was exhausting and I wasn't even awake)
In my dream at one point, I recalled the first whole part of my dream to someone telling them how weird it was.
We made it to the end of the bus route and ended up outrunning the bus.
I asked a woman for our bus fare back, cuz running was such a pain in the butt.

Ok, that was some of it. I promise not to quasi-entertain you with riff raff dreams again, but for reals, I had nothing else to write about. I mean, this week has been fun, and for the most part quite gratifying as a mother cuz I got my kids to eat breakfast, brush teeth, and get dressed before 9am for 6 days in a row. That to me is like deserving a medal. (if anyone who reads this knows Dallas Howard, tell him to bring me one next time he sees me)

Anyways - I'll write soon. Have a great Monday, etc. etc. etc. Say hi to the real world for me. Adios.

Bye Bye

It's been awhile. More than a week I think, but if you know me - then you know I was busy due to the party at the park. And if you made it, thank you. It was too much fun. We could barely make it home cuz there was so much crap to pack, and ended up putting a full cooler on top of Effie's lap. She thought it was funny.

Last night I was up till 3am, yeah, doing some dishes, cleaning up, making a new schedule for my babies, and preparing a few things, and all the while I was thinking about what to write about. And as I stared at the sink, and all the water going down the drain I noticed that our new garbage disposal had a name. It's called the "Insinkerator".

"Insinkerator", I thought. "That sounds like "N'Sync -erator."

Then I remembered how last week at ballet class the teacher was blasting that song "Bye Bye", by N'Sync and making my child dance around like a looney to it. The teacher kept saying how much she loved N'Sync, and you could tell by the way she was dancing, and I felt a little disturbed at the fact that my kid was enjoying it so much. Just like that time I let my kid watch "Barbie Island Princess". (Note to parents - NEVER RENT THAT MOVIE OR LET YOUR KIDS SEE IT!)

Well, getting back to the Insinkerator. Now then whole time I was watching the water go down I kept singing that "Bye Bye" song to my dishes and thought it was only appropriate that my sink now has a name and a theme song.

I paid particularly close attention to the ballet teacher today to see if she'd do or say anything funny again worth blogging about, and no she didn't. It was a little excruciating to watch the class though cuz the teach kept trying to get 10 2-4 year olds to do real ballet and no one was listening - especially Celia who was laughing her head off during the entire 45 minutes, for what reason, I don't know.

When I got home tonight, I remembered that my neighbors were going outta town and I had to take in their trashcans. (Now in my home, mi "gordo" or "viejo" or "old man" aka husband does this chore) So there I was, listening to my kids scream at me through the screen door while I walked their cans to their backyard. By the time I was done, Alex was out in the driveway with Celia who was sitting in a cardboard box on the lawn in the dark, and Effie was next to her. They couldn't stand to see me gone for more than a minute and I was glad to be with them. And after I dragged Celia in the box up the driveway and got inside, my man was sitting on the piano bench with a very serious look in his eyes.

"Sara. When are you gonna start taking in OUR trashcans?"

(Now if you know this man, then this may be funny)

About 6 seconds passed before I responded:

"When you die."

It's late now. "BYE BYE" everybody. Oh - and for you loyal readers, I have a thingy at the bottom of this blog that says "People who read this". So if you are not scared of showing your face, go hed and represent.