Sleepers

I'm about 90% there.

For 3 nights in a row I've gotten my kids to bed within 15 minutes of turning out the lights. You may think that's a long time, but it used to be anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour for the girls to settle with the lights out. There was always a "I forgot to make a wish", or a "Mimmy (minnie)" from Effie, or a "baby Mimmy", meaning Effie's minnie needed her baby, or "more water please", or "where's Dad", or a "Dada!", or about 20 other things.

But now... we do the routine, and by 7:45 we're in bed. Of course we do read at least 5 books, sometimes 17, but when the books are done, I turn off the lights, and I say:

"Did we brush our teeth?"
"CHECK!" (the girls say)
"Did we read our books?"
"CHECK!"
"Did we have our sippy of water?"
"CHECK!"
"Did we say our prayers?"
"CHECK!"
"Did we get in our pajamas?"
"CHECK!"
"Did we make our wish on our wishy stars?"
"CHECK!"
"Do you have Eeyore?"
"CHECK!"
"Do you have Minnie, baby minnie, and baby baby Minnie?"
"CHECK!"
"Did we have a before bedtime snack?"
"CHECK!"
"Did we give our goodnight hugs?"
"CHECK!"
"Did we give our goodnight Kiss?"
"CHECK!"

Then I sing this new lullaby that I made up and they fall asleep quick. But tonight Alex tried singing it with me, and being out of tune, and not knowing the song, and hearing him hum a tune that sounded like a Communion Hymn kind of slowed the process down, cuz I kept trying to shush him. But either way, they all (including Alex) were asleep by 8:30. Fine by me.

I ended up taking off to do my grocery shopping and saw a ton of kids at the store, and I just felt sorry for the parents. Cuz that means, if they aren't in bed by 9:30, they still have to get home, and do whatever THEY do before going to bed, and then it'll be 11pm before the poor moms can rest.

But it's 12:15 am now, and I did the domestic duty of... NO... not the dishes - they are still patiently waiting for me... but I .... picked up about 14 marker caps, put away 17 dvds in their appropriate boxes, picked up pieces of make up, toys, books, trash, crap, junk, clothes, dirty clothes, dirty diapers, receipts, the remains of trash that accumulates after making brownies, and other things that are so tiny it's so annoying to clean up. Man, all this never ends does it? I feel like I must walk miles a day just circulating my house putting things in their place. I'm serious.

But it's time for bed.
Did I do the dishes? no check.
Did I brush? Check.
Did I blog? Check.
Did I read the stupid news? Check.
Did I talk to Cathie? Check.
Did I put on a pot of beans in the slow cooker? Check.
Did I put a chicken in the other slow cooker? Check.
Did I put in another load of laundry? no check.
Did I say goodnight to you? GOODNIGHT!

Check.

Thanks for Babysitting Mom

There are a few things I've been noticing lately.

One is that I don't close things or put things away - (thanks a lot Dad). I definitely inherited this trait. I think. And likely to a worse degree than Mr. H. But I never close drawers or cabinets. It's starting to get on my nerves. I also like to leave things wherever I am when I finish using them - like the phone on top of Celia and Effie's cardboard box home - (don't worry - they don't sleep in it outside or anything - it's in their room) or leaving hair barrettes above the chimney. I'm workin on it though.

And you know what? You should have seen the mound of dishes this morning. I mean - yesterday we were so busy all day and I cooked an extravagant meal - and blah blah blah, but I woke up to the dirty work and it really was dirty work. I think it took me over 53 minutes to deal with it in its entirety and when I was done I felt like a new super human. The girls watched this stupid movie about Barbie the entire time. So that's what I get for leaving them (the dishes) till morning - kids who are starting to love Barbie. (No offense to Barbie lovers) Oh heavens. And when I was about 90% done, Alex walked in, and I said to myself "he better not complain about the girls watching too much tv, cuz this is a job that can not wait", and you know what he said, "have you ever heard of that saying that mothers are saints? Well, now I can see why they say that." - yes he was referring to my domestic duties and the mighty job of dishwashing, and I told him - no - I had not heard that saying - but I know I have a long ways to go to reach sainthood - well... maybe not too long - but I'm workin on it. (at least it runs in the family - thanks Mom)

Does this make any sense?

Well, whatever - I finished, then asked Alex how much I would have had to pay him to do the job, and he said 10 bucks. He said won't do anything for under 10. Hmm. I should have considered that, but I didn't have 10 bucks on me.

And you would have thought that in all that time - during all those 53 minutes I would have thought of something more interesting to write huh? Well - not really. Even though my mind is constantly stirring with new ideas, new thoughts, etc. etc. etc - I just can't seem to figure out how to organize them into a blog post.

Ok - what you just read was written 4 days ago. It was Friday, and it's now Monday - so I'll start over.

The watching movies - doing back exercises - and having late night snacks has continued - which gives me more time to do things that take me away from the things I should be doing - like cleaning the bathroom mirror, writing a blog entry, trimming Effie's finger and toenails, or really scrubbing the stove. ugg. Please - someone send me a magical housecleaner from the sky that's free. And mom - if you're reading this - don't get any ideas - you know me - in the end I take care of business.

This is starting to get a little jumbled, and you don't know how bad I wish I could write every entry about Alex. I mean, he does the funniest things - you would think he were a comedian. You have to live with him to get it, but I would embarrass him too much if I did - so I won't - at least not now.

But I said in the headline - Thanks for Babysitting mom - cuz tonight we were able to drive and have a conversation - (yes - a conversation between me and Alex that wasn't interrupted by the screams of Celia talking to her hands and feet. Forget Nala and Simba - her hands, she has names now for individual fingers, or Effie freaking out cuz she always drops some kind of food under her butt and can't reach it), eat food in peace and quiet without any of that food falling onto my clothes, on the floor, or having to get a different fork 3 times, or a different plate, or having to warm up 2 different things after serving my kids already and then I realize they aren't gonna eat it, or getting up to get juice again, or another cup cuz the girls won't share, and more than that we were able to take a walk - a walk in which we didn't have to play Cruella De Ville - (which we now have to play every time we take a walk) where Alex is Cruella, and I become Horace and Jasper, and we have to chase the girls, and of course Celia is Anita or Perdita, and Effie is Sargent Tubbs the Cat, or whatever - cuz it gets tiring, and thanks cuz we actually took a hike and watched the sunset - which as cheesy as it sounds is so nice, so with that being said - please know how much I appreciate it. And to all the other babysitters - you KNOW who you are - muchas gracias! Take my kids ANYTIME!

(This sounds so mean doesn't it? Well, mind you I DO really miss them when they are gone - I do - I swear - you don't believe me? Come on - I said I promise)

Ok OK. I'll just say goodbye already, and say things are good. Things are actually better than good. Maybe next time I'll write about all the dejavu's I've been having. Maybe not. Ok enough already. See ya laters.

Innocent Children

It's been way too long. I don't usually wait more than a week to write, but the hubby has been hogging up the computer and I've been hanging out at night doing something I don't normally do - but hey, it's a new year right.

Oh, what have I been doing instead of hanging out on the internet and writing blogs at stupid hours of the night? A... well, I've been watching movies, doing back exercises, and folding laundry. Boring. I know. Well, the movie watching thing ain't too bad, but boring for most people considering I'm watching a bunch of artsy fartsy stuff.

One movie I saw today, and yesterday - (cuz I can never watch an entire movie in one sitting, cuz that's like sitting for 2 hours, and a mommy doesn't know how to SIT for 2 hours, cuz it's impossible, or isn't ALLOWED to SIT for 2 hours, (unless a babysitter is involved) anyway - so I watched a movie called "The River", and I just knew the entire time this little boy was gonna get killed by a Cobra, and I didn't want it to happen, knew it was gonna, and it did... but after he died, this guy said - how the kid was lucky, cuz he died being a kid. He said how grownups got it bad, cuz they lose their innocence, don't know how to have fun, don't live amongst the ants, climb trees, and what not - and I do agree - kids got it so good and they don't know it, but I will prefer if my children live to be 200 years old. Even though I don't want (as I've said before) for either of my kids to grow up. They definitely will NOT be as cute as they are now bigger. Big kids - not cute. Little kids = cute.

Uggg. And ugg. And ahh, and ahh. It has been a great couple of weeks. In the sense that some organization has come into my life with the advent of school for Celia. Gymnastics for Effie. Ballet for them both. Their new ballet teacher is like Hitler, and no wonder 20 3-4 year olds shut up and listen to her - cuz she's scary - and scares me - and is as old as Hitler would have been - but I know it's good for the girls. It's about time someone shows them a bit of discipline. (cuz we all now how good I am at it) Please do not ask if you can attend their class. There are to be no disruptions in her class. No pictures. No phone calls. No talking. No smiling. Only ballet. And I've learned - no babies (Effie) are allowed to let their chair move causing squeeky sounds - it's against the rules.

Besides that - tons of things have happened. I've fallen in love with someone named Logan. (so has Alex, and if you are curious about who he is - just ask)

The girls got their shots - and Celia was a lunatic who had to be held down by 3 people - but in the end was a brave looney - who liked showing off where she got her "TV SET" (TB Test).

Alex and I got to go to the movies - and saw Conan the Barbarian. Too funny. Much too funny. I mean - if you thought it was an action film - you're wrong. It's a high class comedy.

We've been to the zoo about 6 times in January I think. I finally met the shaved ice master by name - it's Rick. Please go meet him. I think he's the reincarnation of Howie Mandel. Wait - he's not dead right? Never mind.

We started walking the town again.

And dishes are done - and not much else comes to mind. More than anything, I just wanted to say hi to you all, and let you know I'm still alive, have things on my mind, and stay tuned cuz I WILL write more soon. Have a great Thurs/Friday/weekend.

Wasn't Gonna

But I will.

It's late. The house is a semi-wreck, and I'm still trying to figure out how to get organized.

In the last Bearenstein Bears book I read, Mama Bear got fed up with Brother and Sister Bears' room so she got a big box and dumped everything in it to get rid of. That's what I wanna do. But not just with the kids' toys. I wanna put the dirty dishes in it, the laundry, the bags that pile up in my car, the christmas decorations, the books on the book shelf, and more. But I won't.

Maybe I should do what Mama Bear ends up doing: She gets boxes to organize then they live happily ever after. If only it were so easy.

And... as I sat in the bed, trying to get the kidlings to sleep, after a long evening, I thought, and thought, and thought, about how it's my fault. It's my own fault that my kids don't just magically fall asleep at 7 when I put them to bed. It's cuz I've never done the right thing. The thing that all parents should do. The thing that leads to peace. Do you know what that is? Well... it's something. Not just one thing. And it includes:

Organization
Schedules
Consistancy
Routine

None of which I can seem to get right. But tomorrow's a new day right?

I can't say that I don't have those things. Cuz I do... but just a little.

There IS the routine - every night - of

Making the wish on the wishy star. (and tonight, Celia wished for Santa to come back soon, for Effie to have a good day, for Effie to play with her in the morning, for me to have a good night's rest)

Brushing teeth - telling Effie to NOT brush - just so she WILL brush.

Going to the bathroom.

Getting a drink of water - even if we do so about 16 times. (and yes, I do keep the water by the bed, but I end up having to get up for refills. I need to get a 7-11 sized cup)

Getting the gummy bear vitamins. (Red for Effie - 2 each)

Reading an outrageous number of books. (Remind me to NOT check out any more "Ameilia Bedilia"... too long.)

So - we do have routine - but it takes too long.

Every day I say to myself "this will be the day. We'll stay on track. I'll put em to bed early so I don't have to blog or wash dishes at 2am"

But that didn't happen today. No no no.

We got home at 5 after driving my sisters badical radical Super Beetle home.

I decided to make food for the kids. Macaroni and cheese. Sliced avacados. They ate a skimpy amount.

We had humpty dumpty and his girlfriend drawing contest. I won.

We then had to PLAY humpty dumpty goes to the circus. Alex was the circus. I was the audience. Effie was the "Acrobats" as Celia insisted, and she - of course was humpty's wife.

Then we HAD to play peter pan. Which meant Celia needed her Tinker Bell costume. The pony tail. The wand. The wings.

Then we HAD to bake cookies. (I'm not that cool. They were the scoop and bake kind- not from scratch tonight)

Then we had to play tap dance. That meant we all had to learn Celia's new choreography. The "Celia tap dance". "Shake your hips from side-to-side- tap your feet, shake your head". Then the "sara tap dance". (I'll spare the details - cuz I didn't make it up) Then the girls had to tap dance on the bed.

Then I gave the kids the bright idea of writing with marker on the mirror. They each had wipeys to wipe it off, but Effie decided to write on the bed sheets I just washed, my "Chairy" doll, (not to worry - it came out), her diapers, the floor, Celia's underwear. And she appropriately tried to wipe everything she wrote on.

And surpisingly it was only around 7 by the time all this had happened, and I said to myself "It's still early, but I should really put them to bed now".

Well.... to make this already LONG ass story a little longer, they did the jumping on the bed thing, the change into Jasmine thing, the put on pajama thing, then the rest of the routine thing (see above) and the lights barely went out at around 9pm.

But wait! Lights out, but Celia needed to "Fix some toys in her room". That took forever. She was curled up on her bed waiting for me to come get her cuz her legs were tired.

Then in the dark Effie tossed and turned and like every night said "food. food. food." (I usually get away by ignoring her but I had to take her to the kitchen. I tried shoving cookies and pasta in her mouth, but turns out she just wanted more water)

An hour had passed since I turned out the lights. Effie needed her Minnie doll. Then she needed her Minnie Ears. Celia was knocked out after the covers were exactly as cozy as they needed to be. Effie wanted to get up. I got her up and said to myself "If I get her up, she'll wanna get up everynight from now and forever", either way, I kicked some stupid books out of the way and was a bit aggravated at this point, and to my surprise the kid was asleep before I even sat in the rocking chair. God help me. God bless me. Cuz my kids are freaking amazing.

Ok enough. Don't forget to think 3 times before having children. And remember. Tomorrow's a new day.

That time of the....

Yeah, that time of the .... week, when I finally have a second to write. Well, it may take more than a second.

Again, besides the layers of skin that got washed off my hands in blistering hot water tonight while I ... yeah, washed the... you know what, I also decided what I'd write about.

But although I decided it doesn't mean I'll write about it. Cuz my dad would say I shouldn't be embarrassing myself so much, and I should spare you. But I'll leave it short and tell you this:

After I got home from the post-office, after having just walked out of the house without telling anyone I was even leaving, I sat on the couch, cuddled next to Alex, who was sitting pretty much underneath both Celia and Effie and he said:

"Who are you right now? Jekyll? Or Hyde?"

Hahahaha. Thank God that the man has a sense of humor when it comes to that ... well, you know, that... syndrome. You know.... that monthly syndrome that starts with a "P"? I will stop there.

Soo.... yeah... besides that comedy. I can add to it with a few things that older offspring said this past week. And by the way, it's been a real nice 2009 (today alone we did the zoo, thrift store, super walk of the century, the library, plus I made rice, enchiladas, chocolate chip blankets for the pigs - or shall I say chocolate chip pancakes with sausage, had lunch packed by 8am, did no laundry, and put both kids to bed other than mine before 9 - success??? YES!)

Oh back to Celia:

This starts with me:

"Celia!!! You need to behave!"

"Maaahhhmmm! I don't LIKE being heyve"

Yesterday while coloring at the table she said.

"Dad - you know what God says?"

"What does God say?"

"He says you NEED to do ALL your homework."

Poor child is confusing her pre-school teacher with God. I think I need to up the amount of in-home catechism. Really, cuz tonight while putting her to sleep, (in her own bed) she said.

"Oh, Mom. I'm so glad we're sleeping in MY bed with all my toys. I'm SO happy that all my dolls and animals are here. And baby Jesus is here with me too. You know Mom, Santa lives with baby Jesus in the North Pole."

Well, I did not know that. Because it's not true. But it was too late to discuss the whereabouts of her two favorite invisible people: Santa, and Baby Jesus.

There's just too much. That kid is really.... ahh... interesting. I have to admit. And the other. She is the cutest thing I've ever seen. Have you seen her lately? I mean, Effie is so cute I'm practically in tears every day. She likes to lay on top of this little princess table she has, then while her tummy is on the table she does leg lifts and yells real loud "Up! Down! Up! Down!" All to herself. And in the car, when you tell her to sing, she'll shut her eyes real tight and move her mouth the way a ventriloquist's dummy does real fast and it's more distracting while driving than the cell phone. I can't stop laughing when she does that. Please, next time you see her, ask her to do it.

Well kids, have a great week. If you are up for Disneyland on Thursday, hit me up.

"We DID IT!" - (as Dora would say)

We did it. We made it through Christmas. I don't know how, but it came and went. If I got you a gift, you were one of the lucky ones, and if you didn't, well, maybe you were even luckier considering some of the presents I gave out. But either way, Merry Christmas, even though it's over. I love you.

And now onto bigger and better things, cuz 2008 is almost gone. You know, I'm into the New Year's stuff. My husband is no where near as nostalgic and sentimental as I am, although he is a little, but on New Year's I always think about sleep-overs with the Aguileras (my brother's kids), my sister's New Year's trilogies, driving around Los Angeles with random friends I no longer see, Muriel's Wedding, false resolutions, and no resolutions. I'm looking forward to 2009. I can't wait to get a new calendar for my fridge. That way I can maybe organize in 09.

By the way. It's one of those days/nights when I know that all I've been thinking about lately is how much I've wanted to write, and still have no idea what to say. So I think I'll make a list. There's been so much happening. - and you know what? I've kept a journal since the 4th grade, and since I've been writing this blog I haven't written a page in my journal. So I better write at least a little about what's been going on so that I can remember or look back when I'm 73. k?

1. I taught Effie how to say "wassup fool". It's so cute. (don't tell Alex)
2. Santa made it to our house.
3. I decided that in the near future I want a dishwasher.
4. We got a sidewalk around our garage.
5. Celia can't stop singing "you're never fully dressed without a smile".
6. Effie is so freaking cute I can't stand it!
7. We had an after x-mas brunch for homies.
8. Never made it back to the light festival.
9. It's been cold.
10. We got a x-mas tree (and it may not last as long as last year's)
11. Went to the aquarium with Ari.
12. Got a double jogger stroller.
13. Sent x-mas cards to 100 people.
14. Realized this list is super boring so I'll stop now.

Ok, ok. I know. That was lame. Whateva. At least I'll be able to know in many years from now when I read this blog, (if the internet survives that long) how boring things were around here. Ok, ok. Boring ain't the right term. NOTHING is boring around here. Just ask Ari who spent 3 hours with me and my kids. They NEVER shut up. They are constantly screaming something, or mamamamamama, or dadadadadada, or "know what? know what? know what?", or "peeze? Peeze?? uppie! uppie!", or singing "Cruella De Ville" in Spanish. It's insanity at all times when the children are awake. For reals. And even more insanity if they are awake and my husband is hanging out with them. The screaming and jumping and hiding and yelling, and laughing and painting and drilling is at full force. I let Effie go outside to hangout with Alex in the garage today and she came back inside, and her white outfit turned to blue, and she was holding a 10X12 inch piece of wood with different nails and screws and hooks hanging from it, and yes painted blue, because Alex taught her how to use the drill gun.

Then... when Effie was taking her nap, I did dishes while Celia took her turn in the garage with Alex. You know what they did? They found I don't know what kind of cables and wires, and hooked up the crappy cd player we have to 2 different amps, one huge bass amp, and another large keyboard amplifier and made stereo sound for Celia to hook up a microphone so she could sing along with cds. So the whole time I was washing dishes, I couldn't see Celia or Alex, but I could HEAR (very loudly - and I'm sure the entire bottom half of our street could too) Celia and Alex singing Alvin and the Chipmunk christmas duets, that "Let's Get Together" song from the Parent Trap, and lots of Mary Poppins. It was SO loud. I mean, I'm surprised the cops didn't come. In fact, it's been awhile since cops came to our door, so it should be about time for a visit. (for more info on why cops have come to our house on 3 occasions in the past 5 years, remind me and I can blog about it some day.) There is really never a dull moment around here.

I'm gonna go now. There IS a lot to say. I DO want to say Happy New Year to all my friends. Thanks for reading. Thanks for the comments. Thanks for all the great Christmas gifts you gave my children. You all are the best.

God Bless my Heart

I know you know that the dishes have become a constant theme here. So, go ahead and roll your eyes, cuz I just have to mention them again. Last night, I was feeling real sick. I got sicky, it sucks, but whatever - so I said to Alex:

"I'm so angry".

"What's the matter Sara?"

"I can't go to bed with all those dishes in the sink. I just can't. But I'm gonna cry. I feel so sick, I just need to sleep."

"Sara - look at me. Go to bed NOW and I promise to do the dishes in the morning."

"You swear?"

"I swear."

So, fine, I went to bed. Alone - cuz Effie and Celia were sleeping in thier room for once, and I slept real good.

Do you think this will end with me saying that he didn't do the dishes? Well, you are right. But he WAS going to. We woke up, played with the girls, Alex gave Effie cereal, Celia was deeply offended because she said I tried to make her a "Big Girl" by sleeping alone in her bed, and she was so upset that I left her and Effie alone over there, but anyway I saw the dishes and said:


"Oh yeah - you're supposed to do these".

"Ok."

Then I remembered why I always do the dishes. Cuz he does them with the utmost precision and care and what it takes me 20 minutes to do, it would take him about 3 1/2 hours. So I said,

"You - take care of Effie and Celia, and I will gladly do these dishes."

"No. I'll do them, cuz I don't want you getting on my case for saying I was gonna do them. I have to stick to my word."

"No, no, no. I won't get on your case. Do me a favor and DON'T do them."

So I did them in about 11 minutes. Washed. Dried. And put away. End of story.

And yeah, having kids is hard. And difficult. And crazy. But when you are sick it is like one hundred times more difficult and everything is annoying, and I feel totally inadequate as a human and mother. But I think I feel better, so tomorrow better be better.

On another note. Celia said something funny the other day. And if you don't know her, she says everything in a very proper manner. I mean, with a british accent and all.

Alex was about to give Celia and Effie a gummy worm, or something (cuz if you don't know already, Alex only gives them sweets and candy. He never offers them fruit, cuz he knows they REALLY like it when he gives them treats) and he was saying:

"Who likes gummy worms?"

"I DO!" They both said.

"Who LOVES candy?"

"I do!" They said again.

Then he said: "Ok. But if you want these gummy worms you have to promise to be good"

So Celia said for herself, and Effie real loud:

"Weeeee Promise! God bless our hearts!"

Then Alex and I were silent, and looked at Celia in a curious way. God bless our hearts? What? That was wierd, and I started laughing, and Alex said - don't laugh at her. Then when Celia noticed that I was laughing at her, she started her little nervous laugh and corrected herself.

"Oh, oh dear. I mean...... CROSS OUR HEARTS!"

Hahahaha. I thought it was so funny. I had no idea what she was tryinig to say, but she really seemed to mean that she wanted God to bless her. But she meant to say, cross our hearts and hope to die for her promise. Get it?

Anway, and anyhow, here comes Santa Claus. Only 2 more days and the show is over. Hope you enjoy yourselves, hope you have a great Christmas. I love you. I miss you. Have a great day.