Me no like:
SPIDERS - especially when the biggest one you've ever seen in your life is crawling on your daughter's stroller. Euck.
And... especially when it's night time and you are taking out the trash and you put your hand on the handle and it goes right through a spider web, and the next morning you see the biggest black widow you've ever seen in your life on the trash can. Euck.
CRICKETS - They crap like termites and they are loud. Sometimes they find a hiding place right next to me and make all sorts of loud ass cricket noises. Then they make little babies and the baby crickets are cute but you just have to smash em cuz you're not gonna eat em.
DISHES - yes I know this is getting old. Tell me about it. In fact many of you blog readers have seen me doing dishes elsewhere and have asked me why I'm doing them. Well, it's not that I hate them per se, I just don't like seeing them in my house, and I don't like when you wash a whole tub full just to turn around and see that about 26 more dishes/pots/pans are on the stove and after all that hard work, there they are again. I don't mind washing them when they are not in my own house as much. Boy do I have to just find something better to write about or what?
NO MORE WALKS - I love walking. But putting two reluctant children in strollers when they'd rather walk, run, run and stop, sit on grass, turn in circles, roller skate without knowing how to roller skate, ride a scooter, or whatever - is not fun. Many blogs ago I wrote about how perfect my life was when we were walking every day and putting the offspring to bed in their strollers all snuggled with blankets every night. Yes, it was nice, but it obviously didn't last. Success as a parent can be short lived at times. And me no like no more walks especially when my shins have been extremely sore for 3 days due to the fact that on my way out of the house at 11pm the other night to take a walk alone while my family was in dreamland, my favorite neighbor saw me and said:
"Hey! How do my halloween lights look?"
"Great! My kids love them. You put me to shame. Now I have to get some."
"Where are you going?"
"On a walk."
"Why don't you come inside and use my gym?"
Well, I thought gym meant 24-hour fitness or Bally's, but I accepted the offer cuz I love blabbing my life away with her. So I go in and start the leg lifts as I gazed at the framed autographed picture of George from Seinfeld in his underwear in front of me. (Now that's what I call going to the gym to look at hot bods) Well, my neighbor must be one buff woman cuz I couldn't even budge them damn thing. I had to set it to the lightest setting for wimpy people, and my neighbor just laughed.
(in case you are wondering -my garbage disposal will be fixed tomorrow. I know I said I wasn't gonna write - but I needed something to do before tackling those 26 dishes on the stove. Good night.)
