"We DID IT!" - (as Dora would say)

We did it. We made it through Christmas. I don't know how, but it came and went. If I got you a gift, you were one of the lucky ones, and if you didn't, well, maybe you were even luckier considering some of the presents I gave out. But either way, Merry Christmas, even though it's over. I love you.

And now onto bigger and better things, cuz 2008 is almost gone. You know, I'm into the New Year's stuff. My husband is no where near as nostalgic and sentimental as I am, although he is a little, but on New Year's I always think about sleep-overs with the Aguileras (my brother's kids), my sister's New Year's trilogies, driving around Los Angeles with random friends I no longer see, Muriel's Wedding, false resolutions, and no resolutions. I'm looking forward to 2009. I can't wait to get a new calendar for my fridge. That way I can maybe organize in 09.

By the way. It's one of those days/nights when I know that all I've been thinking about lately is how much I've wanted to write, and still have no idea what to say. So I think I'll make a list. There's been so much happening. - and you know what? I've kept a journal since the 4th grade, and since I've been writing this blog I haven't written a page in my journal. So I better write at least a little about what's been going on so that I can remember or look back when I'm 73. k?

1. I taught Effie how to say "wassup fool". It's so cute. (don't tell Alex)
2. Santa made it to our house.
3. I decided that in the near future I want a dishwasher.
4. We got a sidewalk around our garage.
5. Celia can't stop singing "you're never fully dressed without a smile".
6. Effie is so freaking cute I can't stand it!
7. We had an after x-mas brunch for homies.
8. Never made it back to the light festival.
9. It's been cold.
10. We got a x-mas tree (and it may not last as long as last year's)
11. Went to the aquarium with Ari.
12. Got a double jogger stroller.
13. Sent x-mas cards to 100 people.
14. Realized this list is super boring so I'll stop now.

Ok, ok. I know. That was lame. Whateva. At least I'll be able to know in many years from now when I read this blog, (if the internet survives that long) how boring things were around here. Ok, ok. Boring ain't the right term. NOTHING is boring around here. Just ask Ari who spent 3 hours with me and my kids. They NEVER shut up. They are constantly screaming something, or mamamamamama, or dadadadadada, or "know what? know what? know what?", or "peeze? Peeze?? uppie! uppie!", or singing "Cruella De Ville" in Spanish. It's insanity at all times when the children are awake. For reals. And even more insanity if they are awake and my husband is hanging out with them. The screaming and jumping and hiding and yelling, and laughing and painting and drilling is at full force. I let Effie go outside to hangout with Alex in the garage today and she came back inside, and her white outfit turned to blue, and she was holding a 10X12 inch piece of wood with different nails and screws and hooks hanging from it, and yes painted blue, because Alex taught her how to use the drill gun.

Then... when Effie was taking her nap, I did dishes while Celia took her turn in the garage with Alex. You know what they did? They found I don't know what kind of cables and wires, and hooked up the crappy cd player we have to 2 different amps, one huge bass amp, and another large keyboard amplifier and made stereo sound for Celia to hook up a microphone so she could sing along with cds. So the whole time I was washing dishes, I couldn't see Celia or Alex, but I could HEAR (very loudly - and I'm sure the entire bottom half of our street could too) Celia and Alex singing Alvin and the Chipmunk christmas duets, that "Let's Get Together" song from the Parent Trap, and lots of Mary Poppins. It was SO loud. I mean, I'm surprised the cops didn't come. In fact, it's been awhile since cops came to our door, so it should be about time for a visit. (for more info on why cops have come to our house on 3 occasions in the past 5 years, remind me and I can blog about it some day.) There is really never a dull moment around here.

I'm gonna go now. There IS a lot to say. I DO want to say Happy New Year to all my friends. Thanks for reading. Thanks for the comments. Thanks for all the great Christmas gifts you gave my children. You all are the best.

God Bless my Heart

I know you know that the dishes have become a constant theme here. So, go ahead and roll your eyes, cuz I just have to mention them again. Last night, I was feeling real sick. I got sicky, it sucks, but whatever - so I said to Alex:

"I'm so angry".

"What's the matter Sara?"

"I can't go to bed with all those dishes in the sink. I just can't. But I'm gonna cry. I feel so sick, I just need to sleep."

"Sara - look at me. Go to bed NOW and I promise to do the dishes in the morning."

"You swear?"

"I swear."

So, fine, I went to bed. Alone - cuz Effie and Celia were sleeping in thier room for once, and I slept real good.

Do you think this will end with me saying that he didn't do the dishes? Well, you are right. But he WAS going to. We woke up, played with the girls, Alex gave Effie cereal, Celia was deeply offended because she said I tried to make her a "Big Girl" by sleeping alone in her bed, and she was so upset that I left her and Effie alone over there, but anyway I saw the dishes and said:


"Oh yeah - you're supposed to do these".

"Ok."

Then I remembered why I always do the dishes. Cuz he does them with the utmost precision and care and what it takes me 20 minutes to do, it would take him about 3 1/2 hours. So I said,

"You - take care of Effie and Celia, and I will gladly do these dishes."

"No. I'll do them, cuz I don't want you getting on my case for saying I was gonna do them. I have to stick to my word."

"No, no, no. I won't get on your case. Do me a favor and DON'T do them."

So I did them in about 11 minutes. Washed. Dried. And put away. End of story.

And yeah, having kids is hard. And difficult. And crazy. But when you are sick it is like one hundred times more difficult and everything is annoying, and I feel totally inadequate as a human and mother. But I think I feel better, so tomorrow better be better.

On another note. Celia said something funny the other day. And if you don't know her, she says everything in a very proper manner. I mean, with a british accent and all.

Alex was about to give Celia and Effie a gummy worm, or something (cuz if you don't know already, Alex only gives them sweets and candy. He never offers them fruit, cuz he knows they REALLY like it when he gives them treats) and he was saying:

"Who likes gummy worms?"

"I DO!" They both said.

"Who LOVES candy?"

"I do!" They said again.

Then he said: "Ok. But if you want these gummy worms you have to promise to be good"

So Celia said for herself, and Effie real loud:

"Weeeee Promise! God bless our hearts!"

Then Alex and I were silent, and looked at Celia in a curious way. God bless our hearts? What? That was wierd, and I started laughing, and Alex said - don't laugh at her. Then when Celia noticed that I was laughing at her, she started her little nervous laugh and corrected herself.

"Oh, oh dear. I mean...... CROSS OUR HEARTS!"

Hahahaha. I thought it was so funny. I had no idea what she was tryinig to say, but she really seemed to mean that she wanted God to bless her. But she meant to say, cross our hearts and hope to die for her promise. Get it?

Anway, and anyhow, here comes Santa Claus. Only 2 more days and the show is over. Hope you enjoy yourselves, hope you have a great Christmas. I love you. I miss you. Have a great day.

Spent

If you are looking for a funny "sara" blog entry, just close the page and go back to reading wikipedia or the news or whatever you do online. Cuz there's nothing funny in me tonight. Really, I can't think of anything funny. I'm trying. I really am. I mean, Effie peeing on the bed all over Alex's new pants, or pooping in the bathtub is just not funny enough material for me today.

I'm just spent. I'm tired, and for days I've literally been nervous about writing a new blog entry, cuz I just don't know what to write about. I mean, the week has gone by without any major issues. Nothing too hilarious has happened. I'm still stuck on being a "baby person", cuz every minute that goes by, my desire for my kids to never grow up gets stronger and stronger. I'm definitely gonna try to be a good mama, who lets her kids you know, leave the nest and all, but I just like them as babies.

If you know me, you know we do the family bed thing. Celia has a bed, likes it, wants to sleep in it, but Effie won't sleep without her so I have to put Effie to bed with Celia next to her, so I do it in my bed. And besides, I like having my little bed warmers with me. Effie gave me about 53 kisses on my forehead before she fell asleep tonight and kept saying... "Eigghhhtt ..... naaaaiiinneee...... TENNNNNNN!". It was so cute. And to hear her talk was almost making me cry. I'm so proud of my little, cute, sweet, Effie goo goos. Too cute. I mean.... way cute.

Celia is funny too. Right before bed, after having:

Eaten dinner (which happened at the kitchen table for once)
Watched 20 minutes of Piglet's Big Movie. (yuk - don't tell Celia I don't like it)
Fed them cookies and milk
Cleaned up spilled Yakult from the floor that went un-noticed till the night
Put their pajamas on
Convinced both of them to brush
read

she ate her vitamins, took her sip of water and let me turn off the light. Then after being quiet for about 10 minutes she got up, and said she had to make her wish.
So she went to the window, opened the curtain and said.

"Star light........ Star bright..........First star.............. I seeeeee tonight!"
"I wish I may...... I wish i might.... have the wish... I wish tonight."

"I wish for my mom and Effie to have a good night's rest full of love. And I wish that Santa will come down my chimney and bring my present. "

"Amen."

Alex was still awake and said "Hey what about your dad?"

Then she said ...

"And I wish for Alex to have a good day tomorrow".

Fair enough. My kids are so sweet I can't stand it. Of course, there are many times throughout the day that I have to use all the power within me to not freak out and scream at them, but overall, THANK JESUS! PLEASE SPARE ME WHEN THEY TURN 14!!!!

Really, really, I have to say it's been a rather boring week for us. I'm still trying to figure out what I'm gonna do about Holiday madness, and I've been spending more than enough time thinking about other people's issues when I should just stop and pay the bills and send out my Christmas cards. My problem is I'm a metiche. (look it up if you don't know what that means)

For some reason though, hearing about other people's things, problems, success, issues, whatever, always helps me put my own crap into perspective. And all this and that, has led me to think a lot about 3 things.

Once again, don't take my advice. I don't want to be responsible for any of your bad decision making.

But those 3 things are:

1. You can't chose your circumstances, but you can chose how you deal with them.

2. Stop waiting. Waiting is for suckers. If there is something you should do, or want to do - just do it now. There's never a better time, and it's not gonna get any easier tomorrow.

3. There's only so much time between now and when you're gonna die. Face it. You're gonna be dead, it's a fact - so just think about what you might wanna do between now and then.

WIth that said. Have a great day. Smile. Give someone you like a kiss today. Even if you don't like them, give em a kiss. If you see a hot guy at the McDonald's drive thru window, just give him a little wink. (this is an inside joke between me and Alex. I don't expect you do get it) Do it for me. Have a great Tuesday. Good night.

Baby People

Some people are baby people. Some people are not. You just are or aren't.

I am.

Being a baby person doesn't mean you wanna have a million babies, it just means you like them.

Baby people notice babies when they are in the room, like at a restaurant, or store.

Non-baby people could really care less if a tiny, cute, sweety wittle baby is there.

I don't think non-baby people are bad at all, don't get me wrong, I just don't understand them cuz I'm very much into babies.

In fact - when I was a kid, I'd sit in my bed and make wishes that I would wake up in the morning as a baby.
I knew even back then how good they have it.

I'd also pray to God that the calling to become a nun would never shine down on me, cuz I more than anything wanted to have a baby of my own one day. When nuns would talk to us at CCD about getting "the call" from God, I'd get so nervous. I thought that at any time or moment that "call" might come. Well, God obviously answered my prayers.

I even thought the rapture or end of the world would come before I could ever kiss a boy, but God heard my prayers on that one too I guess, obviously. Ha.

Anyway. As a baby person, I knew all the babies on my block. I'd babysit for free. I just couldn't resist playing with a funny, smiley baby.

I thought for some time that after having kids I wasn't a baby person anymore. When I'd see other babies, I was so busy with my own I didn't pay them much attention. In fact, I even thought I liked other people's babies as a kid more than my own. (Now I say this in fun, but there's a little truth to it). Babysitting other people's kids was in no way, shape, or form anything like having your own kid, and not to mention pushing the suckers out. And since I've had kids, on a daily basis, it's a struggle to even get time in to play with them. I mean, as a babysitter, or a baby-person, you just get to smile at them, make goo goo faces, play, have fun, read books, whatever. But as a mommy-baby-person, you can do all that fun stuff, but- you ALSO have to wash the dishes, wash the clothes, wash the towels, clean the floors, wipe the counters, clean the toilets, pick up toys, make the bed, make the breakfast, make the lunch, make the snacks, make the dinner, plan the outings, pack for the outings, go on the outings, come home from the outings, clean up after the outings, put things away, do EVERYTHING. So, in the end, it doesn't matter when you have kids if you were a baby person or not, cuz the responsibilities that come hand in hand with mommy life can really take a lot outta you.

BUT TONIGHT, that baby person in me came back. I was so damn happy about it that I had to write about it. Even after having done all those things I listed above and more, and playing school, watching some cartoons, playing polly pockets, playing store, and dealing with whining, non-sharers, and screaming on many different occasions, I remembered why I WAS a baby person. CUZ THEY ARE SO FREAKING CUTE I CAN'T STAND IT!!!!!

Effie is just cute ALL the time. Today, after not having said more than 2 syllables that made sense she said to me "I don't like it". It was so CUTE. It made me so proud. And, she peed on the potty twice today. So cute. And when I put her to bed tonight, she hugged and kissed me about a hundred times, and while I read her the most boring book in the world "Bambi's Scratch and Sniff Adventure", she laughed so much you would've thought she was listening to Sam Kinison. And... her dad was at work while I was putting her to bed, and her and Celia were still awake in the dark but falling asleep and she reached over me and grabbed Celia's hand and said "Le-la... (her word for Celia). Le-la! ....Le-la! ...Da da? Oohh.. Da da work. Effie Sad." Then Celia said, "It's ok Effie, he'll be home in a little bit". I mean, how cute is that?

And earlier, when it was time for bed, Celia had already tucked herself in, and in her arms she had her little baby, "baby Neece". Here was our conversation.

"Mom. Can you please wrap up baby Neece like a baby in the hospital?"
"Sure".

She tucked herself under the covers real good, then pretended to be asleep.

"Here's your baby", I said.
Celia opened her eyes real bright and opened her mouth real big and said,

"Ohh, Miss Hospitaler! Thank you SOOOOO much! My baby is BEAUTIFUL!"

I tried not to laugh too hard and said,

"You're welcome. Congratulations. She's just fine. I checked her heart, her eyes, and her ears, and she's very healthy."

"Oh thank you! Her dad will be so happy!"

"Oh", I said, "Who is her father?"

"My boyfriend..... ahh... I mean my HUSBAND." (I swear, she DID say this)

"And what is your husband's name?"

"Well, there was my boyfriend before, but he died. My husband is ..... (then she whispered in a very coy voice) .... Chris-to-pher- Ro-bin."

Now, if you are a baby person, you may appreciate or even like this story, and if you're not, well, I hope you got something out of it either way. I mean, how can you resist something like this? Too cute. I'm so lucky, and I dread the day puberty strikes. I'm gonna make a wish tonight to God that my kids will be babies forever. Good night friends. Check in next week.

9 days

Man. I'm still blind and all this is blurry - so excuse any typos.

I'll put "getting new glasses" on my list of things to do before I die.

Anyway, it's been 9 days I believe since the last blog entry. Sorry to keep you all waiting. Hi Brooke. I haven't seen you in so long! And Anonymous, how's it going? It was good to see your dorky face on Wednesday night.

Too many things to write about. Such little time. Too much mush in my brain. Such little organization.

Ok - no more nonsense.

Let me begin with tonight. Tonight made me think quite a bit about what my neighbor told me the other night. I've told people this already, but in case I didn't tell you - I'll just write the conversation down. She doesn't read my blog (I think), and if she did, I'm sure she'd give me her permission. And she is quite a bubbly character, so please read it to yourself and over exaggerate her part in your mind.

"Hey Sara! How ARE you?"
"I'm good - how are you?"
"Great! I saw you going out with your friend the other night! Where'd you go?"
"I went to a bar, to check it out, cuz we may go there for my birthday."
"HOW FUN! You are SO lucky!"
"Well, I didn't even drink really."
"Who cares! When you go out without your kids, even hanging on a street corner is fun!"

Now the conversation continued, and in my head I was saying "Well, I wouldn't take it so far as to want to hang out on street corners when my kids are not with me". But I just may as well be in the same boat as her, cuz tonight I willingly, and eagerly jumped at the chance to drive for 3 hours in horrific traffic to LAX cuz I knew I could have some time to myself. HA HA HA. I'm such a nerd.

And Alex, (my husband, in case you don't know him) sometimes wakes up while I'm on the computer doodling away, sometimes reading news, chatting with old friends I never see but hung out with in elementary school, looking up 70's Toyota's on criagslist, and he comes in the rooms and says "What are you doing". "It's so late. Come to bed". Then I say slowly, "I'm just on the computer", or if I'm in the kitchen washing dishes I say " I'm just cleaning this house". Then he says , "Oh... I thought you were talking to your other family in Israel".

He's convinced I have this 2nd life or something. It's kind of funny, and sometimes I erase the history on the computer just cuz I'm embarassed about how many times I may have refreshed myspace or facebook, or some ridiculous "mommy" blog that I wouldn't want to admit to reading. Anyway.

Next matter of business:

Have you ever gone to the light festival at Griffith Park? Now, waiting 2 hours in line can make you despise it entirely cuz it's not exactly mind blowing, but for the past 5 years or so, we always take a cruise through it when there's no wait, and it's fun. Last year, we'd drive through and the kids would be put to sleep by the slow ride and the Nat King Cole Christmas lullabies they play. This year, temporarily, they are not letting you drive, probably cuz of the stupid traffic. Anyway ( I like to say Anyway), we went tonight and we had our ups and downs.

When we got there, we parked at the zoo, and Effie thought we were going to the zoo. She was a little disappointed it was closed.

In the parking lot, a dad in the car across from me was yelling at his kids to get the f-*k out of the car. Good thing I was wearing my Raiders sweatshirt and Cortez shoes, cuz I was mad-doggin that guy and wanted to look real bad and tough, cuz what a JERK he was being. Then he hit one of his kids on the head and the kid LITERALLY hid UNDER a car from him. Man. Some dads suck.

Anyway, besides that, it was SO nice outside. Walking the light festival is like the coolest thing EVER. Those Christmas lullabies, or Neal Diamond's "Coming to America" blasts in your ears, and hundreds of Los Angelinos are just outside walking around. I don't think there's a place in LA besides Disneyland or the Americana where you see families walking around at night. And here, people were on dates, with their dogs, walking with their kids, taking a jog, or alone, and it was just sooo nice. I think I already used nice as an adjective. It was sooo wonderful. There.

And to continue, despite it being so wonderful and nice, some thoughts started going through my head.

Those thoughts included:

"This is a LONG walk, we should have brought a stroller"
"It's too late. Someone's gonna get mad and want me to carry them the whole way"
"We shouldn't walk the whole thing, cuz it may be too much for my tired kids"
"It's too cold."
"Celia is gonna have to pee and she doesn't like port-o-potties"
"We should have left the stuffed puppy, the santa hats, the camera, the tiara, and the purse in the car, cuz when it comes time to carry the kids, it's gonna be a bitch to carry everything else too."

Wow, you would have thought we were going to the beach considering all my pessimism.

To my surprise it was fine. Celia was dancing, walking, running, skipping, having fun, etc, etc, etc.

Effie was walking, having fun, running after Celia, holding hands, talking to the lights, etc, etc, etc.

I even saw a kid throwing a tantrum and was elated that my kids were so good and thought that the mom would be jealous that my kids were so cute and so well behaved.

Then we got all the way to the end. Effie wanted to be carried. No problem. I was just so happy to be out walking for a change.

Then Celia wanted to be carried. No problem, Alex was ready.

Then Celia's boots kept falling off.

Then Celia started freaking out.

Then either Alex or I kept dropping the hats, dog, tiara, or something.

Then Celia said her dad was being mad at her.

Then Celia reminded us while crying her brains out that when she is sad, big people are supposed to be happy to take care of the sad kid.

Then I carried Celia.

Then Celia was fine.

Then Effie freaked cuz she wanted ME to carry her.

Then other parents were looking at US probably glad that it wasn't THEIR kids freaking out.

(It was still a LONG walk back by this point)

Then I tried carrying both of them.

Then we switched crying kids around for the remainder of the light festival.

You can just imagine. It was now ME with crying kids thinking about all those pessimistic thoughts and how I should have stuck to my instinct and only made the kids walk a short distance and go back early before our luck ran out.

Well......in the end it was all good, cuz niether Alex or I lost our cool, we were happy to be out, at least Celia never had to pee, and they both chilled out by the end. Celia stopped crying and let her Dad carry her, and both of them were asleep in the car before we left the parking lot.

I don't care how insane it got. I'm going back tomorrow night. Wanna join us? Gimme a call. I promise to take strollers so none of us have to carry my kids. Good night.

30 Thanks

Happy Thanksgiving kids. Hope you ate as much as I did. If you know me you know I can eat. I have some faithful readers on this blog that used to watch me eat 3 In-n-out burgers in a sitting. That's when I was young and tough, although I can't hang like I used to, I did good today. So thanks Dad for the turkey and the pie, thanks mom for the stuffing and the sighs, thanks Cat for the movie and the blouse, and thanks alex for being a strange spouse.

I'll be 30 in a couple more days, so I'm gonna give my real 30 thanks now.

Sara's thankful for:

1. Celia and Effie falling asleep miraculously at 5pm today. (I think they should eat turkey everyday!)
2. The leftovers my dad allowed into my hands.
3. All my bestest friends in the whole wide world. All of YOU of course!
4. The dishes being done.
5. The dishes being put away.
6. The laundry being done.
7. Quintanars
8. Rain - cuz now I don't have to water the lawn for awhile.
9. The yellow sweatshirt I'm wearing with 2 fuzzy skiing bears for keeping me warm.
10. Lucena for making cookies and homemade play-doh for my kids.
11. Lupe for making Alex feel good about not wearing a wedding ring. Ha ha ha.
12. Parents.
13. Lety and Becky - for being great sisters, and helping my kids be great sisters.
14. Cathie letting me drive her German car, and taking us to the movies.
15. Ms. Taylor's conversations and patio.
16. Being alive.
17. Not having any type of flu.
18. Letters, real stamps, and postal workers.
19. Cameras - cuz they stop time for you.
20. Chiropractors
21. Santa for putting fear into my kids to behave.
22. 3 decades.
23. Diary products.
24. Vitamins.
25. Common sense.
26. sarathesub.blogspot.com
27. Papers and pencils.
28. Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.
29. Windy days in kindergarten and Mrs. Jones.
30. The shamelessness.

And more than anything, thank you to my friends who made it out to celebrate 30 years of Sara and Monica. It's so fun to have my friends together under the same roof. It felt like a Mesa Way party from back in the day, except I didn't have to buy the beer.

Good night. Come again.

A Feeling

I do have a feeling that people read this, so I'll write something for goodness sake. And considering... yes the dishes are done, (I know) I just may as well say a few things or two.

Let's begin with the last conversation I had with the husband.

It all revolved around me telling him I was decrepit. I had a pretty insane muscle spasm in my back on Friday that left me a jacked up. That's one thing.

The next was that my TMJ is really insane and the chiropractor twisted my neck around a few times to help it out. It did help. My jaw still pops, but my neck is in place, and he gave me tips on helping it not pop so much. Either way, it adds to be being decrepit.

Then.. today my knee popped real nasty. I mean it made this gross sound and it hurt. I didn't tell Alex about it until a little while ago when I told him I was his decrepit wife.

Then he said "Don't forget your small teeth and your blind eyes". Ha ha ha.

I don't know why this made me laugh so much, but it did. What a man.

Ok. So that wasn't that funny huh? Well, I already told Becky but the other day when we were sitting at the table it was the usual dinner table insanity, like Celia trying to put on make up, while Effie put all of Celia's make up brushes in a bowl of fideos and corn, while Effie dropped or spit food all over the kitchen, while Celia yelled about Effie taking the brushes, and Effie sat on the table while Celia was doing a pee pee dance in the chair and so on.

Then Alex says: Do you know what our life is like?

I say - What?

He says - It's just like that movie.

Which one?

Indecent Proposal. You're Demi Moore, and I'm Michael Douglas.

Then I said - I don't think Michael Douglas was in that movie.

Well, this may not be funny to you. But it sure was hilarious to me.

Speaking of things that are hilarious to me and not to other people - I wear this Phantom of the Opera sweatshirt a lot lately cuz it fits me pretty good, is warm, and above all glows in the dark, but I'm really actually quite embarrassed about it, cuz I've

1- never seen Phantom of the Opera
2 - don't want any one to think I like musicals - even though I do
3 - am afraid one day someone will say something to me about it, just like they do when I wear Raiders t-shirts and sweatshirts even though I've never seen a Raider game in my life.

And to continue with the comedy here - I had a dream the other night that I was taking a walk and I ran up to the mail man in his truck cuz I forgot to put some mail out. When I got up to the truck I noticed that the mailman was an old Dan Akroyd. I told Mr. Akroyd that it was because of him that I wanted to be a comedian when I grew up cuz I was a big fan of Ghostbusters 2 and Saturday Night Live. What the hell is wrong with me?

And for any of you who are into being happy, and want to pretend there is no economic turmoil - just go to the Americana in Glendale. It's just like Disneyland. Artificial Snow, Trolleys, Dixieland style entertainment, and big Christmas decorations. (But people dress much nicer here at the Armenian Grove than Disneyland) There are no signs of a recession at the Americana at Brand.

Well, have a great week. I will. I hope.

I can't see anything

It's 9:55pm and I just woke up after having put the girls to bed about an hour ago. I can't see anything cuz I need glasses real bad, and I have to squint so hard to make anything clear. But having just woken up makes it worse cuz my eyes feel all googley and tired. I just talked to my sister. She knows i'm tired.

Wow. Over a week passed without me writing any adventures, and it feels like it's been years. And on the other hand I feel like nothing has happened. I've been trying to figure out what to do for the birthday, check things off of my list of things to do, and keep up with all the people I know who are either getting hitched, getting pregnant, having drama, being sick, or whatever. So much going on. And to top it all off, the freaggin season is here. Hmmff. Or do I say Hooray? I don't know.

So my lovely, quiet, 12 hour a night sleeper, who I may or may not continue to call Destructor got some speech therapy today, and it looks like it'll continue. Two people who have seen the kid agree she's a smarty pants, but a quiet one. I'm excited about her talking. Maybe I shouldn't be though considering what Celia said this week. She called her sister a loser, and told her to shut up for the first time ever. It was so rude, but the only reason she did it, is cuz she saw a kid she looks up to doing it to her little sister, so she was trying to be cool. Oh geez. Here we go. Santa threats come in handy during these situations. All I have to say it "Hmm.. Santa doesn't bring presents to kids who are mean to their sisters", and it works.

Speaking of manipulating your children, I can't get over the power Alex has with reverse psychology. The other day (when Celia's legs were still bandaged from the cuts) I spent 20 minutes trying to get the kid into the bathtub with no luck at all. I called Alex over and said:

Hey - do that thing you do to get her to take a ducky (a bath).

Then Alex says real loud and obnoxiously:

"WHoooooo Loooveess being all fuchy! I do I do!"

"Who loves taking baths in MUDDD!! YEAH! LET'S GO GET SOME MUD AND TAKE A DUCKY IN THE MUD! YEAH! LET'S BE STINKY AND FUCHY!"

You should have seen Celia. She didn't even give him time to say anything else. She didn't even twitch. She just RAN to the bath and turned on the water herself. Effie followed quickly.

Tonight I made the mistake of playing that song "Lollipop" to my kids. Yeah, it's a good song, and we all loved the Stand By Me soundtrack and used to listen to it ourselves, but I heard it about a zillion times today, and I when it was not on, I heard Celia singing, "Lollipop, lollipop, oh lali lai ali, lollipop, lollipop, oh lali ali alil, lollipop, lollipop, oh lali lali ali lollipop... ba boom um um" FOR LITERALLY NO LESS THAN 90 MINUTES STRAIGHT!!!!! She did not stop. And each time she kept going, I thought it'd be the end, then it wasn't again and again. At least Effie can say it now. Maybe I should consider it speech therapy for her sister. Hmm.

Then, later, Alex said:

"What if one day Celia wants to sing that in a talent show?"

And I said

"What if?" "So she will, who cares"

Then he said:

"Well, if she does, I'm not going".

Yaa ha ha ha. Too funny.

Mr. Sandman

Woah. Remember when Joey Lawrence used to say Woah? I do. That... was funny. I even had a Joey Lawrence doll that I used to keep wearing only his underwear and a leather jacket. Cuz that... was funny.

Anyway. I say "Woah" cuz I'm so tired. Are you? I am. In fact, I don't even want to write cuz I'm so tired. I just want to cuddle up in the family bed in between Effie and Celia and go to sleep, and have some weird dreams. Speaking of weird dreams, I'll never tell you how weird my dream was the other day cuz you'd have a heartattack. Alex on the other hand, thought it was hilarious.

As tired as I am, I can't help but think of my 5 blog followers "ahem.. cough cough, hint hint" (see below), and how much I want to please them and write a tad bit.

For the first time ever, Effie fell asleep just after I put her down, covered her up, and let my sister say "shhhh" to her for about 12 seconds. If you are a mommy, you know how amazing this can be after you usually either rock, nurse, sing, drive, stroller, or do whatever you can in all your power to put a kid to sleep. It was so nice. Thanks Cathie. She should go to bed at about 8 tomorrow night, so please get there a little early ok?
hehehehe.

Some of you may or may not know that weaning never really happened. Well, it did for about 3 weeks, then the little sucker was waking up at 5am wanting to chill out, read, eat, or whatever, and she wanted to do all those things with me OUT of the bed, so I said - "what the hell" and let the child have ze ze again. You should have seen her. She was SO happy.

Having a few hours more sleep really did me some good, and to my surprise the milk was not gone, but after another month, the little addict started to get a little coo coo for her ze ze, so I decided to wean again the other day before things got worse or more difficult. She was like a little crack head, getting all crazy and jittery and having anxiety attacks for it, and now - again, after a couple nights of peace and no more ze ze again, I vow to stand my guard. I even had a dream that someone I used to know said to me, "Sara! Stick to your guns" (when talking about weaning) So, I'll take that as a sign/message, and do so. Even though, it's a little sad when your kid grows up.

We asked her the other day if she was a baby or a big girl now, and she said "baby". The destructor would get mad if we called her a big girl. Oh well. I don't mind. I don't want her to grow up and get an attitude. It's already bad enough.

Besides all that fun stuff, another fun thing happened the other day. It was another Sunday, and Alex once again said "Let's go to the beach". This time, I didn't freak out, cuz I had food ready to go, we had a full tank of gas, and the children had eaten a proper breakfast, and I had an hour to prepare, so I plopped the kids on the couch with their babysitter "Clifford the Big Red Dog dvd#4" and packed up in no time.

It was too freakin windy at the beach. I mean, blow your children over, and get lots of sand in the eyes too windy - so we went to Malibu State Creek. Which was cool. If you haven't been there, you should go. But don't go on a Sunday, cuz very loud Central American Churchy groups go there to sing real loud at the creek, and they might ask you to join them.

Anyway, Celia and Effie had fun walking in the creek that was about 2 degrees warm, and then they stood in bike paths making sand castles, then we took a little walk, and then we ate some berries, and then we changed Effie's diaper on a tree stump, and then Effie fell asleep in my arms carrying her back to the car, and then Alex and Celia raced each other to the parking lot, and then Celia tripped and cut up her knees cuz God forbid the child ever wear pants - cuz princesses do not wear pants, but after all the blood she saw she said she can make an exception now and wear them when we are "hiking at the creek".

Needless to say, that was torture. Being a mom can really suck when you have to watch your kid scream bloody murder while her dad flushes dirt out of a deep, fleshy, nasty, dirty, dirt infested wound. Yuck. Yucky yuk yuk. Ewww. Yuckz. Nasty. Wakala. Fuchy. I pray that my kids never get a cut like that again. And if they do, I'll just let the emergency room handle it, even if it's a paper cut, cuz I'm not doing that again. No way. Well, if it does happen, maybe I'll run them over to my mom's house, cuz she's tough. I bet she can handle it. But no. Not me. Not again. No mre. Yuck.

OK. Enough again. I'll hit you cats up next week for more stories. Hopefully they are pleasant. But knowing "The Destructor" and my little princess, I'm not sure if they will be. But lets all hope.

Hot in the day, Cool at night

My wrist really hurts from using this dumb computer so much. So, I can't write my life story today. Sorry.

But I can write a little bits.

How is everyone? I can't help but want to talk to each one of you personally, to see what cha been up to, how you've been, and to just catch up. But there's no time. At least we can connect for a second, while you read and remember that I'm thinking of you.

Post Effie Birthday week has been beautiful. If any of you made it outdoors at all this week, you know what I'm talking about. November is special. I think we are getting a little too obsessed with taking our family on outings to thrift stores, but I got some cool stuff this week, including a keytar. Yeah, a keytar. My dream come true. ha.

So, I was washing dishes, yeah, as usual, just staring at my reflection in the dark through my dirty kitchen window, and it was quite grueling. I mean, there were SO many dishes, and I think I even used a paper plate or two today. They just didn't end. I think I heard the same news on the radio about 7 times before I finished. Sometimes I consider wearing those fancy yellow gloves while I wash, cuz my hands are all callused and kind of messed up, but whatever. Maybe they are mommy battle scars of such.

Sometimes the only time I get to talk with the huzband is late at night, when you are delirious with fatigue, and last night we were talking about all the people we grew up with who ended up being drug addicts or jailbirds and all that kind of nice stuff. Then I was telling him about how I used to be on the phone all the time using 3-way, you know - party line - conference calls - whatever, and he's like "Woah, 3 ways? With who?" I couldn't stop laughing. Even though I knew he was acting dumb, it was so funny I think I fell asleep laughing.

Yesterday we went to the observatory - yeah, to say hi to Hershel and watch the planetarium show, and on the way out, Alex was horsing around with Celia and she very seriously said to him "Dad, you are not funny." It hurt his feelings.

Today I yelled at Celia for something lame, probably cuz I was hungry, and tonight while I was putting her to bed, I said "Celia, I'm sorry for yelling at you today. That wasn't nice of me, I know." Then she replied, "Mom, that's ok, you know I love you, and I forgive you." I had no idea she knew what forgiveness was. Impressive. That kid is TOO funny.

And my little mute said 4 words in a row today! Not on her own, but nonetheless she said "Soap in my hand". Little Effie goo goos destructor is the best. And she is a destructor. She dropped whip cream on multiple kitchen chairs today, put a dish rag in a cup of chocolate milk, spilled split pea soup out on the table while I wasn't watching so she could rub her hands in it, sat in a container in the backyard filled with water and rubbed mud on her face after eating blue paint, and right before bed she found her favorite thing (chapstick), but it was a Push Up Strawberry flavored lip balm, and while I was reading the Bearenstein Bears I looked over and her whole face was red with chunks of Strawberry lip stuff. She always looks so proud of her destructor ways.

Well, the radio is still on in the kitchen, and I have to dry those dishes, fold clothes, clean the stove, and try to organize my life, but even though the gloom of the kitchen lies ahead, I'm so happy, cuz I made 2 extra meals today so that I will have my family well fed all weekend. Let me know if you're hungry, I made a extra.

Happy 2nd Birthday Effie Rosey Goo Goos

Since I don't really write in a journal/diary anymore, I'll write about Effie's birthday, just to have it recorded somewhere.

Around 3pm after we took a nap while the girls watched Care Bears, we decided to begin Effie's birthday bash, just the four of us.

We asked the big sister what she thought would be fun for her little sister, and she said a party at Griffith Park.

So we went there.

Celia kept looking for all the guests, but we told her it was a private party, and she seemed to understand, and Effie was quite happy on the see-saw as usual.

Celia has a new digital camera, so she took many pictures of the event.

They got sandy and stinky enough, so we then proceeded to the next part of the birthday festivities.

We embarked on a mission to get Effie a Minnie Mouse toy at the mall.

We rarely go to the mall, so we tried to park as close to our destination store as possible to avoid any encounters. God forbid people think we are normal and go to the mall. Ha ha. You know I'm messin.

We made it to the Disney Store, not before we explained to the first born that she could not have a gift, cuz she already had a snazzy digital camera, and it wasn't her birthday. She was only upset cuz Effie didn't choose a fancy princess present. She decided on two $4 MInnie dolls. Minnie cheerleader, and Minnie fancy green dress. Score for us. And as a bonus, Celia was excited for her sister.

We then proceeded to the parking lot, but not before Celia insisted on a hot dog on a stick. (Thanks Becky) So we took her. There in line, Effie met another Minnie obsessed child. How fascinating.

Eating was not as painful as it can be at times. No yelling, spilling, falling, crying. Score.

The departure from the mall was also easy. No one hassled us, I only ran into 2 people I knew, and Celia didn't mind not going into the pet store. It was time for private birthday party adventure part 3.

Library or cake? Hmmm. What were we to do next?

We skipped the library. I was already tired, but the night was young.

We made it to a ghetto party store in Glendale, where the girls got happy birthday balloons. Effie got a ...... can you guess??? A minnie balloon. Celia got a Tinker Bell one. It was interesting. Again, no crying, gimmie gimmies, or Effie accidents. Score.

The night continued. Bowling? Cake? What to do. So we went to the Goodwill.

There were 3 vintage toys in the box for sale. A She-Ra Princess of Power Horse, another Enchanted Pegasus toy, and a radical set of 4 animal cups from the 70's, and a ridiculously large box of zoo animal figures and dinosaurs. Score. Plus, the mean ass manager hooked up a deal even though she said she was in a bad mood.

Birthday Party adventure was not over, however the kids were getting cranky. Celia insisted on holding the She-Ra toy and promised not to open it. I told her she can't have it until I determine its value. Since it's only worth about $30 bucks, I may just let her play with it, or give it to Cathie for Christmas. Either way, there was still no excessive crying or whining so we were in good shape.

After a quick stop at the bank, we made it to Whole Foods, where Effie and I ran out to pick her birthday cake. She chose a $4 mini cheesecake, and I got a chocolate one for the older kid. Done.

6 destinations later, we made it home. After a good hand scrubbing we sang Happy Birthday and Effie learned how to say "Two" after being asked how old she was. Score.
She liked whip cream more than the cake (as usual) and once she had her full, she began to squish cake and cream in her fists and then rub her fists in cups of milk then slurp on her fists. The Destructor was happy. And so was I.

Good night everyone.

"Ask and You Shall Receive" plus a "Secret of Life"

1. This is my second blog of the night - so be sure to keep reading.
2. I have a lot to say so just chill out, relax, and read on if you like.
3. I didn't draw this portrait. Some kid drew a picture of me.
3. Remember, as I have said before: Do not take my advice.
4. Some things I say right now may be shameful things Dr. Laura would not approve of.

So, I've been doing some laundry for the past couple of hours only because I think tonight is daylight savings night, which means I have an extra of hour of life. Wonderful.

All this cleaning has really done a job on my brain. The more I fold clothes, the more my desires in life come out into the open. I want new chonies, and new cheese grater, some aluminum foil, and fabric softener.

The more I think about the things I want, I think about the people who help me. And for those of you who take time out of your own busy schedules each week to help me care for my kids - (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE! YES YOU!) I want you to know how much it means to me, and THANK YOU and I LOVE YOU! And thank you ALSO to those who give pets and presents to my children. And to those who hook me up with their old clothes. And for those who hang out at my house every once in awhile and play Go Fish or tea with my kids while I cook, make cookies, or wash dishes. Thank you. You rock.

And you know what? This all leads to something else that was racing through my head tonight - and that is - women are much more bitchy than men. You know why? Cuz men make them bitchy.

(Don't get me wrong - I'm not bitchy today and Alex has given me and my kids an amazing week but I just felt like I should write this)

And you know what? This leads to my secret of life. Men make women bitchy for various reasons.

1. They don't understand the impact of their words.
2. They do not read our minds and do exactly what we wish they would do.
3. They are much more passive.
4. They are animals of a completely different species - where we women are kind, loving, humans.

With these 4 things stated, let me tell you how I get what I want and make peace in my life (at times - not all the time)

1. I ensure to have eaten properly before yelling at my husband. Or if the bitch begins to reveal herself - he asks if I have been properly fed. If I have not been properly fed, he will then just take the blows and wait for sanity to come back into my head after eating food.

2. If the bitch comes around and I'm really tired, I take a quick nap to ensure the proper functioning of my brain.

3. If there is something I WISH my hubz would tell me that he hasn't said - I tell him the words - word for word - that I would like him to repeat in order for me to regain sanity and to contain the beast. It really works, cuz come on - guys are not mind readers - but when given instructions sometimes they follow to your surprise!

All this may seem like nonsense - and it's quite jumbled, sarcastic, and really is silly - but what I'm trying to get at, is life is not as difficult as people make it out to be. The only thing that matters is this instant. Everything that happened yesterday is over. Something that may happen tomorrow may never come. So just deal right now. (I know this is preachy - and it's hard to practice what you preach - but I can try can't I?)

So all this being said leads to the asking part.

You know what? I really, really want a new camera. Most people who read this blog ARE SUPER GENEROUS and always give me these super duper birthday presents, from gift certificates to coin purses, and I LOVE everything. And you know what? My birthday is coming up, and I can't stress how bad I want a new camera. Well, I've asked my viejo, and he may forget about it or only have the means to get me a disposable one, so I'm calling out to readers:

IF you were thinking of so generously giving me a gift for my birthday or Christmas this year - as you usually do - can you please consider a donation towards the "Sara really wants a kick ass used digital camera so she can take super pictures of her friends and kids Fund". ??

Times are tough. I know. But I believe in the power of shameless requests. Be it 3 bucks, or 15, I'll take it. And I promise it will go towards my dream camera, that will undoubtedly take your picture many times before you die.

It can't hurt to ask huh? Trust me. One day when I strike it rich, I'll return the love. All I can give you now is about 7 minutes a week of entertainment by reading my blog. You peeps who read give me much more in return. So thank you. I love you. And I better stop this insanity so that my Dad can go ahead and make a comment.

Good night
And for any men who were offended by reading this - "Suck it up, be a man and get over it. You know it's true - and if you don't fall into those categories - you're a sissy and women will love you for it!" Ha ha ha.

Sandy

Today, around 10am, Alex said "Whoooo's ready to go to the beach?"

No one said anything. My kids hadn't eaten the chorizo and eggs I made them for breakfast, but they did eat some cookies and milk, so I was making them fideos so they could eat something with a tad more nutrients. I had tons of laundry to do. Effie had already done dishes for an hour this morning. (BTW - She's quite good. I've been meaning to tell you all, but she really washes. She's fascinated with the scrubber and wasting dish soap and to top it all off - I caught her using a knife to scrape some caked-on grilled cheese off of a frying pan. I cried a tear)

Anyhow, 2 hours later, the kids watched an hour and a half of The Three Caballeros, while I:

Fed them the sopita.
Cleaned up 40% of the kitchen.
Made the bed.
Put in a load of laundry.
Got dressed.
Changed Celia from pajamas to hula gear.
Changed Effie's diaper twice.
Brushed their teeth.
Brushed my teeth.
Borrowed Mayo from the neighbor.
Made 2 chicken salad sandwiches.
Made 2 pbj sandwiches.
Packed juices.
Packed bananas.
Packed extra clothes, towels, and other stuff.
Made a vegetable/chicken soup for dinner.
Changed Celia from the hula gear to a fancy dress with a sash and rainboots.
Changed Effie from her nude self to day clothes.

Some other stuff happened, like Celia very seriously trying to learn Veracruz style Mexican folk dancing - thanks to Donald Duck, and Effie hiding inside the sofa cushions, but we made it outta the house around 12:30 and got to the beach in no time. We ate our sandwiches in the car.

When Alex says "the beach" I get a little nervous.

Well, when an outing involves SAND, lots more Sand, and Sand stuck in butt crevices. I tend to want to stay home. But I didn't say a thing and just went with the flow. Cuz I Do LOVE the beach - but with babies it can be interesting.

We got to the beach and it was rainy. I didn't say a thing.

As we walked to the beach as we passed a lovely creek with ducks, and Celia said in her over exaggerated, coy princess voice - (if you know her you know what I'm talking about)

" OOhhhh Mother!!!! Thank you SOOOO much for bringing me to the beach!!! I just Loooove walking in the dirt with my rainboots!"

The other day when we were trick-or-treating she said in front of some family -
"Ohhhhh Mother! Look at the Beeeeauuutiful stars in the sky! Aren't they LOVELY!?"

(I just shrugged and said I had nothing to do with such behavior)

Anyhow, all my fears of sand were put aside, and I just enjoyed each (as corny as it may sound) magical parent moment - even when:

Effie ate shit in the sand and a wave crashed over her head.
Effie got stuck in a big hole.
Effie got lots of sand in her eyeballs.
Effie got lots of sand in her mouth.
Effie made crunchy noises cuz sand was in her teeth.
Celia freaked out cuz she got her hair wet.
i had to clean sand out of 2 different butts.
And when I watched my car that I just washed for the first time in months get covered with SAND.

It was awesome. Thanks Alex.

I Said:

I said that I would write again this weekend cuz I had something to write about. Well, I just should have written it then, cuz I can not remember what I was gonna write about.

That kind of thing always happens to me. Like when I'm holding a set of keys, and I say to myself "I'm gonna put them right here so I don't forget where I put them", or I'll have a paper and say "I think I'll put this very important paper right here in this folder so I won't forget where I put it", and of course, I can not remember. That's the downside to being unorganized, but I'm working on it, and I haven't lost my wallet in quite awhile, knock on wood.

Thank you to the blog followers by the way.

Hmm. It's really bothering me that I can not remember what I was gonna write about. I thought about it the other night, while I was up doing all the house stuff, and now, I'm in the same boat. I've been up, surfing the internet super highway, just to read about other moms who seem to do a million more things than I do. I think they just publish books to make me look bad. Whateva. But now I'm mad that I can't remember.

Remember. Remember. Come on Sara. You can do it. I know you can. I think you can... I thought you could.

Was it about your neighbor and almost losing their cat while they were outta town? no.

Were you gonna write about the neighbors who invited you to worship with them? no.

Was it about Effie wearing lots of blue eyeshadow for the Halloween party? no.

Were you gonna write about something very strange that Alex said to you? probably.

Ok. This is hopeless. Why don't YOU tell me something about yourself? Huh? I'm tired of all this writing about me. Oh, yeah, but this IS my blog. Hmff...

This is a lost cause. The world is in chaos. The markets are down. Elections in a little more than a week. My kids are strange. I have WAY too much on my mind. And I have nothing to say. Oh well. I guess it's just one of those days. I think I'll stop wasting your time, and go read a blog about one of those super mommies. Maybe I need some inspiration.

Peace out fools. I love you all.

Just Stop Thinking

Hi Kids. Thank you to Becky, Cathie, and Lucena for signing up as blog followers. I'm glad you are not ashamed. Hee hee.

The more I think about what I should write about on any given day, the harder it becomes to write. For the past hour, I've been doing laundry, making mole, (mol-eh, a mexican dish, not an animal or an enlarged freckle), doing dishes, and surfing craigslist for fine, used, automobiles. During this time my mind has been racing with thoughts from the past week. We seem to do a lot even though at times it seems like we don't do anything.

Celia tends to have lengthy conversations with herself. We took a walk the other day and she insisted on taking out her "map" out of her "backpack", then creating some adventures prior to arriving at our destination. (too much Dora)

She also had a long conversation with her poop the other day. I'm shooting myself in the foot for not having recorded this but here are some of the things I remember her saying while she sat on the toilet. (Please don't tell her I wrote this down when she's older)

"Poop! Here comes some Pee- Pee! Watch out - you're gonna get wet!!"
"Oh No! This is a terrible situation! What are we gonna do!"
"Ha ha ha! Wait! No NO! Poo poo - please hold still!"
"Watch out or your butt's gonna get a rash!"

(this type of screaming went on for at least 15 minutes. I had to pick her up off the toilet or I'm sure it would have continued for a good hour)

Yesterday and today I found out what Effie (a.k.a. to some as the "Destructor") would do if I didn't take away her unfinished portions of food.

I gave her a bowl of rice, and a glass of orange juice. When she was done with both, she decided to mix rice into the orange juice, which she would then drink. Then she would remove grains of rice from the orange juice and put them back in the bowl, then eat them with a spoon.

Today I gave her a glass of apple juice at the table, which she mixed into a cup of mint chip ice cream. Later, she poured out the juice from the sippy cup onto the table, then rubbed her hands in it as if it were finger paint, then would rub her face and hair. She was all gross and sticky until I put an end to her destructor madness.

Yeah, my kids are perty funny. My dad witnessed a tantrum from the depths of the underworld today that I blame on a poor breakfast. Hmm. Good times. Good times.

I think I'll write again on Sunday, so stay posted. I actually had something else in mind to write about today, but I'll save it. And don't let me write any more dream entries. It seems like since I wrote that last one, my dreams have gotten weirder.

Oh - for those of you who make mole - and use the glass jars of Dona Maria to make it, put it in the blender first. What a world of difference that made. I think it takes about an hour out of the mole making time. Now I think I'll make mole sauce to pour over eggs, burritos, pizza, mint chip ice cream, or whatever.

44 Stories Later

And now time for a dream.

If you know me - you know I like to sleep. In fact I'm almost always yawning. I'm tired a lot. Sleeping is real fun, and cozy, and wonderful, and whenever I remember my dreams, I know I've slept ok.

I'm the kind of person who can fall asleep within 20 seconds of putting my head down, and even if I get 10 minutes to doze, it'll do me a world of good. In fact, just now, I put my kids to bed, took a little nap, and now I'm up and at em.

I would've thought I was pregnant last night cuz my dream was so bizarre. But NO I'm not pregnant - but what I mean by that is when I was pregnant- those 18 combined months of being a host for a fetus - I had the weirdest dreams all the time. Some dreams included me swimming in the middle of the ocean watching cannonballs wizz past me while I was wading in the water with Danny DeVito. In another, my friend Vicky and I were on the lookout for second hand sofas on a deserted island.

Well, last night my dream included some of these things - in random order:

Driving my sister's bug to San Francisco.
Arriving in SF and receiving a collect call from Ireland where someone asked me to host a couple in my house.
Going to the dentist for x-rays.
Going to another dentist for a check up.
Seeing someone I knew at the x-ray dentist.
Then seeing them again at the check up dentist.
When I saw them at the check up dentist, that person said "Seen anyone we know lately?", and I said "Yeah, I saw you at the x-ray dentist a minute ago."
Getting a text from my sister that said she was evacuated from her house due to large announcements made by airplane that there was gonna be an earthquake.
Going back to LA to see those big airplanes.
Those airplanes turned into huge rocket ships that shook the ground when they'd fly past me.
Those huge rockets turned into aliens.
Those aliens multiplied and gave me birthday presents.
My mother-in-law asked me who got my kids those cute gifts.
I told her they were from the aliens.
There was never an earthquake.
I walked with my brother-in-law along a maze while I watched him carry my 2 kids.
One fell out of his arms but I caught her.
I ended up on a bus to mexico and saw Alex at one of the stops.
The bus driver wouldn't pick him up cuz he had 2 strollers, so he said go to the next stop.
I ran off the bus to help Alex and we ended up RUNNING miles chasing after a bus with kids and strollers in our hands.
(it was exhausting and I wasn't even awake)
In my dream at one point, I recalled the first whole part of my dream to someone telling them how weird it was.
We made it to the end of the bus route and ended up outrunning the bus.
I asked a woman for our bus fare back, cuz running was such a pain in the butt.

Ok, that was some of it. I promise not to quasi-entertain you with riff raff dreams again, but for reals, I had nothing else to write about. I mean, this week has been fun, and for the most part quite gratifying as a mother cuz I got my kids to eat breakfast, brush teeth, and get dressed before 9am for 6 days in a row. That to me is like deserving a medal. (if anyone who reads this knows Dallas Howard, tell him to bring me one next time he sees me)

Anyways - I'll write soon. Have a great Monday, etc. etc. etc. Say hi to the real world for me. Adios.

Bye Bye

It's been awhile. More than a week I think, but if you know me - then you know I was busy due to the party at the park. And if you made it, thank you. It was too much fun. We could barely make it home cuz there was so much crap to pack, and ended up putting a full cooler on top of Effie's lap. She thought it was funny.

Last night I was up till 3am, yeah, doing some dishes, cleaning up, making a new schedule for my babies, and preparing a few things, and all the while I was thinking about what to write about. And as I stared at the sink, and all the water going down the drain I noticed that our new garbage disposal had a name. It's called the "Insinkerator".

"Insinkerator", I thought. "That sounds like "N'Sync -erator."

Then I remembered how last week at ballet class the teacher was blasting that song "Bye Bye", by N'Sync and making my child dance around like a looney to it. The teacher kept saying how much she loved N'Sync, and you could tell by the way she was dancing, and I felt a little disturbed at the fact that my kid was enjoying it so much. Just like that time I let my kid watch "Barbie Island Princess". (Note to parents - NEVER RENT THAT MOVIE OR LET YOUR KIDS SEE IT!)

Well, getting back to the Insinkerator. Now then whole time I was watching the water go down I kept singing that "Bye Bye" song to my dishes and thought it was only appropriate that my sink now has a name and a theme song.

I paid particularly close attention to the ballet teacher today to see if she'd do or say anything funny again worth blogging about, and no she didn't. It was a little excruciating to watch the class though cuz the teach kept trying to get 10 2-4 year olds to do real ballet and no one was listening - especially Celia who was laughing her head off during the entire 45 minutes, for what reason, I don't know.

When I got home tonight, I remembered that my neighbors were going outta town and I had to take in their trashcans. (Now in my home, mi "gordo" or "viejo" or "old man" aka husband does this chore) So there I was, listening to my kids scream at me through the screen door while I walked their cans to their backyard. By the time I was done, Alex was out in the driveway with Celia who was sitting in a cardboard box on the lawn in the dark, and Effie was next to her. They couldn't stand to see me gone for more than a minute and I was glad to be with them. And after I dragged Celia in the box up the driveway and got inside, my man was sitting on the piano bench with a very serious look in his eyes.

"Sara. When are you gonna start taking in OUR trashcans?"

(Now if you know this man, then this may be funny)

About 6 seconds passed before I responded:

"When you die."

It's late now. "BYE BYE" everybody. Oh - and for you loyal readers, I have a thingy at the bottom of this blog that says "People who read this". So if you are not scared of showing your face, go hed and represent.

Me No Like

Me no like:

SPIDERS - especially when the biggest one you've ever seen in your life is crawling on your daughter's stroller. Euck.
And... especially when it's night time and you are taking out the trash and you put your hand on the handle and it goes right through a spider web, and the next morning you see the biggest black widow you've ever seen in your life on the trash can. Euck.

CRICKETS - They crap like termites and they are loud. Sometimes they find a hiding place right next to me and make all sorts of loud ass cricket noises. Then they make little babies and the baby crickets are cute but you just have to smash em cuz you're not gonna eat em.

DISHES - yes I know this is getting old. Tell me about it. In fact many of you blog readers have seen me doing dishes elsewhere and have asked me why I'm doing them. Well, it's not that I hate them per se, I just don't like seeing them in my house, and I don't like when you wash a whole tub full just to turn around and see that about 26 more dishes/pots/pans are on the stove and after all that hard work, there they are again. I don't mind washing them when they are not in my own house as much. Boy do I have to just find something better to write about or what?

NO MORE WALKS - I love walking. But putting two reluctant children in strollers when they'd rather walk, run, run and stop, sit on grass, turn in circles, roller skate without knowing how to roller skate, ride a scooter, or whatever - is not fun. Many blogs ago I wrote about how perfect my life was when we were walking every day and putting the offspring to bed in their strollers all snuggled with blankets every night. Yes, it was nice, but it obviously didn't last. Success as a parent can be short lived at times. And me no like no more walks especially when my shins have been extremely sore for 3 days due to the fact that on my way out of the house at 11pm the other night to take a walk alone while my family was in dreamland, my favorite neighbor saw me and said:

"Hey! How do my halloween lights look?"
"Great! My kids love them. You put me to shame. Now I have to get some."
"Where are you going?"
"On a walk."
"Why don't you come inside and use my gym?"

Well, I thought gym meant 24-hour fitness or Bally's, but I accepted the offer cuz I love blabbing my life away with her. So I go in and start the leg lifts as I gazed at the framed autographed picture of George from Seinfeld in his underwear in front of me. (Now that's what I call going to the gym to look at hot bods) Well, my neighbor must be one buff woman cuz I couldn't even budge them damn thing. I had to set it to the lightest setting for wimpy people, and my neighbor just laughed.

(in case you are wondering -my garbage disposal will be fixed tomorrow. I know I said I wasn't gonna write - but I needed something to do before tackling those 26 dishes on the stove. Good night.)

Shout Out

Hey peeps.
Here's a shout out to:

Dad
Cathie
Monica
Becky
Brooke
Alyana
Gina
Mateo
Sherida
Tati
Lucena
VIcky
Mom
Mama Lety
Lety

and WHOEVER else reads this thing.

I wanted you all to know that the end of my blog has come.

Reason being -
my garbage disposal is out of commission - thus resulting in me not being able to do dishes.

If my dishes can not be done - then that means I can not blog.

So goodbye blog -

Well, not really... maybe just goodbye for about 2 more days until Luis our plumber comes back to fix the pipe and the garbage disposal.

I know it all went to hell cuz I wash so many dishes. Se la vie.

Freeway Puppy

When I was 10 or so, I got a cute little Pound Puppy from Toys R Us. I don't remember its name or exactly what color it was (Cathie?) but I do remember how excited I was. A few weeks later in the mail I received the dog's personalized name tag and collar. Cathie had a P.P. (hahaha P.P) too, and for some reason while we were riding in the backseat on the freeway she let my P.P. fly out the window. All I remember was a lot of screaming and sadness.

Now lately I've been dealing with trying to make my first born tough. Man, I was anything BUT tough when I was a kid and I don't want her to be a wussy. She gets her feelings hurt perty easily but she's used to playing nice, and very princessey.

The other day at the library 3 bullish little boys did not want her to play with them and she got sad. I mean real sad. Lots of tears and hurt feelings. Well, we dealt, and later that day I made a point of trying out role playing exercises to teach her how to ignore bullies and walk away. I think I need her to watch Annie a few more times to toughen up.

Anyhow, back to the P.P. thing. One day this week we were on the freeway headed home from the East Side when the first born held a plastic bag out the window. God forbid she throw it out. It's the scariest thing to be on the freeway and have a plastic bag land on your windshield and get stuck on your wipers and block your view. So I yelled at her.

"CELIA! Don't throw that bag out the window! The wind will pick it up and it'll fly away like my Pound Puppy!"

"What MAMA?"

"Yeah - throwing things out the window is dangerous. Once Cathie let my Pound Puppy fly out the window on the freeway and I never saw it again! - so be careful!"

(now don't ask me why I compared throwing a plastic bag out the window on the freeway to a stuffed animal, but I did.)

The next thing I know, Celia's face is all red and she's drowning in tears. She was so sad about my story.

"What happened to your puppy Mom? Where did it go?"

"It wasn't a real puppy, Celia, it was just a toy. I think it stayed on the side of the freeway."

"Why didn't you go back and get it Mama?"

"Cuz the freeway is dangerous. If you drop something out the window you can't get it back."

This was real dumb cuz she wasn't comforted by anything I said, and I had to hurry to put on the Sound of Music CD to distract her.

Then Alex said:

"Sara. Can you do me a favor and not use this moment to tell her how your grandparents died or about the holocaust? (There he goes with the holocaust again) It's not the right time. She's already sad enough."

Yuk yuk yuk.

Now I know that my 4 year old is not ready emotionally for any tragic stories. But she IS getting a little tougher. Tonight a little kid pushed her at the playground at the mall and she said "Go take a hike!".

Maybe that's what I should have told my sister after my P.P. died instead of being a cry baby.

Thanks Jesus

Yes... thank you for giving me the energy that woke me from my slumber at 10:15pm and allowed me to stay up another 3 hours in order to do the dishes, put them away, clean the kitchen, take a shower, and blog.

I'm so happy that I'm able to write without the thought of the dishes looming over me. The only thing left to do is fold lots of laundry and clean up Celia and Effie's room. But that's not a big deal. Cuz they aren't dirty stinkin dishes.

And hello to you peeps out there in the working world. I hope you are enjoying life in front of the computer today. So am I.

So, here's a funny conversation I had tonight around 8pm at Baskin Robbins as we sat outside eating our ice cream while Effie painted herself brown with chocolate.

Alex:

Did you ever watch one of those multi-media presentations at school? They would put up 3 big screens and show all these crazy images and play loud rock music.

Like the Just Say No ones? Or the Holocaust Survivor ones?

No - the Drug ones. Do you remember that Van Halen song that was popular in the 90's? Well, I remember them using that song.

Jump? That one?

No - the serious one.

The one with the singer that was not David Lee Roth and had the real emotional piano playing?

Yeah, that one. I think it was called RIght Here Right Now.

No Alex, that was Jesus Jones. Remember that video on "The Box" all the time? The Van Halen one was "Right Now!".

Yeah! Yeah! That one!

(Sara) I remember that Holocaust guy telling us how one day soon after the war he came upon some American Soldiers who had also crossed paths with some dying children, then one soldier gave a kid a Snickers or something cuz he was starving and it killed the kid.

Hey, our Holocaust survivor told us the same story! There must not have been that many survivors around that year to do presentations.

I think I'm gonna blog about this Alex.

Please don't write that I said there was a "run" on Holocaust survivors that year. It doesn't sound good.

Ok Alex, I'll write something else. (end of conversation)

I think that's all we managed to talk about, cuz Celia was making movie star faces at people driving through the drive-thru. She went dressed with her new Dora sunglasses, a new purse, and a pink boa around her neck. She said she was dressed very "romantical".

Effie's face looked like she had just put on a mud mask of chocolate ice cream, and her hands were just as dirty. I picked her up from behind her back and told her to put her hands up to the sky and not to touch anything.

There were some guys outside washing mini-blinds out in the parking lot, and I told Celia I was gonna ask them to hose down Effie and wash her in one of their buckets.

She then told me - "No Mom, you can't put Effie in a bucket. Only you and Dad like to take baths in buckets with lots of wet butts."

"What? Wet butts?"

"Yeah - you like to take a ducky (a bath) with wet butts".

I can't believe it. My kid barely turns 4 and she's already trying to make jokes like a 6 year old.

I used about 20 wipeys to clean off Effie and we came home.
Too bad I can't write anything funny about what Effie said, cuz she still doesn't talk. Oh well. I'm sure she will soon enough. Good night everyone.

Miss me?

Well, I've missed you too. How are you my friends?

It's been awhile hasn't it?

It seems that for the past few months the party of the year was looming over my head. But it's over now, and if you didn't go - too bad for you - cuz it was really freakin great. (note to self: "Sara, if you are ever rich, hire a live band for EVERY party - EVERY month!")

For the past few months there has been a party to go to every Saturday. I think we went to a get together or party for 8 consecutive weeks, then there was a week off, and now we're back again. This is all thanks to the Q's! This family keeps us busy!

Everytime September rolls around it seems like the new year has begun. Maybe it's cuz my while life I've either been in school or worked at a school, but now that fall has arrived it seems like everything gets started.

I've cleaned out my kids drawers and closets - so I'm on track to a new beginning.

And dishes - are only 50% done, so that's another story.

But I regress. October is approaching. There will definitely be a party on our part - then another Q party, then a Halloween partay, then November comes, then it's my bday - and I'll be 30 and who knows what I'll be doing - (but as Cathie informed me - The Last Dragon is playing at midnight) hehehehehee.. (if you don't know Leroy Green please Netflix immediately)

And as for partying... I'm exhausted just thinking about the upcoming months - and Christmas for goodness sake - then New Years, then a slight rest - then summer will roll around again, then before I know it I'll be 40. Geez.

And again - Alex decided to read another blog of mine. If you talk to him will you remind him that this is not intended for his eyes! What a critic! The critic of them all! He said my blog sounded like writings of an 80 year old woman reminiscing on old times and exaggerating the truth all the while. Well, mind you mr. hubby... I don't lie in my blogs. I only enhance dialog every once in awhile.

And since I'm on the tip of chastising my husband let me tell you what was on his grocery list - just to give you a laugh.
(You don't know how much I love this guy)

1. Boboli
2. Coffee creamer - caramel
3. Brownie Mix
4. Cake Mix
5. Sprinkles
6. Fruit
7. Chex Mix
8. Sour Cream (the largest container possible)
9. Sausage patties
10. English Muffins
11. Bread
12. Bottled Coke - (mexican not American)
13. Ice Cream - with no HFCS

HAHHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAA. What a life I live! Talk about a sweet tooth huh? I fed the poor guy soup for dinner with Chicken, Rice, Asparagus, Broccoli, and mushrooms - and 2 hours later I get that list. Yahahahaha!

I think I'm gonna go to the dishes now, make a list for the bday party, and have some Ice Cream.

Minnie Mart

Yeah - the market is down. And as far as the other market is concerned - I dread going.

Have you ever grocery shopped with two kids - neither of which wants to sit where a child is supposed to sit, then you have to pile your groceries on top of them while you try to get them to not fall and crack their heads open while you are trying to pick the right head of lettuce? Man, it stinks. Can anyone save me from this? Does anyone want to steal my children while I go grocery shopping? While you are at it, can you cook the food too and feed the kids?

I hate that kitchen right now. There are really not that many dishes to do either - but I was outside chatting with my neighbor (my new homey), and as tired as I am after 10 hours of "birthday at Disneyland", I have a second wind but for some reason do not want to spend any of my energy cleaning. But I have to! And finishing this dumb blog will give me incentive to just walk out of this room and begin. Can anyone save me from this?

Soooo.. at Disneyland today when Minnie Mouse came out of whatever secret back-lot she hangs out in, we got in line - and Effie just freaked. She wanted Minnie immediately. She was crying her lungs out, smacking me to get her to the front of the line.

"Just wait mija, (pronounced Mee-Ha for all your gringos) we will see Minnie in a second. You just have to wait until all the other kids get their picture."

"Waaaaaaaaaaaa! Noooooooooo! Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! (Minnie)"

She kept motioning with her hands saying - "Come to me Minnie! I NEED YOU NOW!"

When it was her turn she ran to the lady with skinny legs and a big Minnie head and hugged her as if it were her long lost mother who gave her all the ze ze she ever wanted. I took her picture and tried to tell her:

"Come on. Your turn is up. Say goodbye to Minnie".

"NOOOOOOO! MAAAAAAAAAA!"

I had to drag her away.

Alex bought her a little cute Minnie doll which made her happy for awhile.

"Do you like your new Minnie?"

"Maaaa! Maaa!", she said as she pointed to where Minnie was. She wanted more.

Then... in the car on the way home Alex said.

"Take out the camera. Show her the pictures."

"Look Effie! It's the picture of you and Minnie".

She grabbed my camera out of my hands and smiled at the pictures. She hugged the camera to her check. She kissed the screen. She was so happy and touching the camera way too much that she made a menu pop up on the screen. This made her angry. Her fingers kept poking the screen, as if hitting it would erase the menu. Then she tried wiping the menu off.

"Do you want mama to fix it for you so you can see the picture of you and Minnie?"

"NOOOO!! MINE!"

Her frustration was beyond my control. I couldn't help the child, and she was so afraid of me taking the camera away from me that she just held it and whimpered.

I think I'm gonna get that picture enlarged to a 16x20 at Costco tomorrow and tape it to our wall. It was all just too cute. It's all more cute than I've written it out to be, and I wish you could have seen her, but I just had to get it in writing so one day I can let her read for herself and reminisce on the day she wanted a mouse more than her own mother. But man, am I tired and.... as you know and love to hear- my dishes are awaiting. (*#!(@*#$(&!!

Weaner

Attention: This is a little Rated R - so, if you have a problem reading about mammary glands then stop here.

Calm down already. I just had to. I had such a crappy blog session last time, that I couldn't pass up the chance to write about what happened yesterday.

And for those of you who don't know me as well as the others, well, I have a confession to make. Up until last night, at 3am, I was still a lactating human pacifier.

I should of known I was in for it as far as nursing was concerned when on our first trip to the pediatrician with Celia the doctor asked me:

"Ahh you nuh-sing da baby?"

"Yes", I said.

"Ohh.. Good! Good"

Then Alex but in.

"We were thinking on having our child nurse for 5 years. What do you recommend?"

"Rell, een some cont-wee, people nurse for maybe twee year or so, but in dis coun-wee, 1-2 year is fine."

I didn't even know how to respond. He actually thought Alex was serious, and I didn't feel like explaining his personality at that moment.

But back to my point: There. I said it. It was bound to happen sooner or later. All the leche/che che/milk/or as Effie called it: "ze ze" stories are too good not to write about. And possibly, some La Leche League mommy may do a google search about weaning, and this could help her. And for you - if you are not or have never lactated, this may be of no interest to you, but I don't care.

It's been almost 5 years now - including pregnancy with child #1 that the mammary glands began producing milk. That child #1 weaned at 23 months, and by 18 months was already saying to me "Other side please". Maybe that was a good sign that she was too old, but hey, the "ze ze" as Effie calls it - was my secret weapon. There's nothing like being able to put a kid to sleep instantly or shut them up like "ze ze" - and if you are cringing right now - like I said already: calm down. No one seems to have a problem when they see a 3 or 4 year old hanging out with a pacifier or a bottle, but you best believe watching a mama with a 1-2 year old kid nursing seems to offend some.

Just last year, when Effie was only 14 months I was nursing her, (and mind you, I was never revealing - in fact, the major downside to nursing was that it transformed the boobs I had back down to junior high school status, so there was never any kind of show going on) and someone said.

"You are still doing THAT!"

"Yeah- so what - she's still a baby"

"Well, I think she's way too old for that".

She was always a little big for her age, but hey, just this year the AAP (American Academy of Pediatrics) changed the recommendation time for nursing from 1 year to 2 - so THERE!

Anyway, despite complaints by people who were probably never breastfed themselves, I just dealt.

Celia's weaning came abruptly after she was throwing a mad, major, reckless tantrum in the car. I tried to sooth the little raging screamer, and it was a bad idea. She bit me so hard that she made me bleed. Ouch is right. From that moment on it was No More Che Che for Celia.

Last night, I just had enough with Effie. The kid is so freakin cute though. If you know her, you know what I'm talking about. She is the cutest thing ever. In fact, we thought she should be nursed a lot longer, cuz she can't even talk and still seems like a wittle bay-bee! And she was always so sweet about it.

Every day, whenever she'd need me, or had to take a nap, she'd say:

"mama. ze ze."

"ok fine - but give me a kiss first. Now kiss your sister. Give me a hug".

She'd obey each command and EVERY SINGLE TIME I began the process of moving her in - she'd start busting up with giddy baby laughter.

"hehehehehehehehe", she'd giggle, like a little sly baby.

But last night, I just couldn't hang anymore. She wanted ze ze all night, wouldn't detach, and I was exhausted.

3:00am. "Effie. Ze ze is bye bye. No more ze ze. Ze ze night night".

(No wonder she can barely speak. I talk to her like a cavemama)

Man, she cried all night. I'd walk her around, try to rock her to sleep, and every time we got back to the bed she'd freak. She was crying, begging for ze ze, pounding her own chest to show me what she wanted. I wanted to give in so bad for the little sucker, but I knew a few nights of torture, then like her sister, she'd just forget.

We were up all morning. I let her watch Dora from 5am - 8am just to make her calm. Every 20 minutes or so she'd say:

"mama? ze ze?"

All I could do was hold her and watch Dora. I couldn't even sleep. I felt so bad.

Today wasn't too bad, but while Effie, Celia, and I were playing duck duck goose in the middle of their room Effie did the sweetest thing.

She looked at me with that BIG BIG Effie grin, gave me a big kiss, gave Celia a BIG kiss, gave me a BIG hug, and looked at me with the cutest eyes I've ever seen and said: "ze ze?" I smiled at her, told her I loved her, and ignored her request and distracted her by calling "GOOSE" on her.

She fell asleep in the stroller tonight without my secret weapon, and an hour ago she woke up. I was dreading the moment I'd have to try to put her back to bed without ze ze, but when I walked in the room she was sitting up on the bed, and she jumped up at me, put her head down and just fell back asleep. I couldn't believe it. Oh well, I guess she gets it.

"ze ze went bye bye".