Subbing

Ok. OK. I just blogged like 2 minutes ago, but something came to mind, and it's freaggin early by my new life standards and I haven't even had coffee yet. Wait. Maybe I should get a cup so I can keep it together. Naw.. I think I'll handle it ok. The only problem I may have is spelling correctly cuz I'm blind (not as blind as Monica). The reason I know I'm blind is cuz today I told a girl I loved her "ALF" t-shirt. When she said "this is Hannah Montana" I thought to myself "Opps. I do need a new prescription".

Anyway - way way way besides the point there. Sorry.

Subbing. Sara the Sub. Substitute teaching. It's been 2 months since I've subbed. I don't really miss it, cuz my babies are too much fun, and I usually feel too guilty subbing cuz it's a damn easy job where I work, but the reason I do blog is because I am a substitute teacher.

I needed a way to post the pictures of the kids I sub for, and I thought, why not post them, and write something too right? RIGHT!

When I was in high school, we had lots of crappy substitute teachers. We did though have one great one, who was about 96 years old, and wore the same suit and tie, and who was an avid reader of "Dear Abby". He'd stand up, read a "Dear Abby" letter, laugh, and say "Can you believe that?". I really do think he must have been my inspiration to do what I do now. When you have a crappy teacher, there was just nothing like seeing that sub walk in your room. It's like seeing an angel.

Alex told me that when they had subs who would show videos, someone in class would have an extra remote around to keep fast forwarding, or shut off the movie, making the sub all frantic and crazy. See - this is what I mean ! Substitute teachers sometimes = FUN!

Since Alex and I are both subs, we both share the same tricks of the trade. I can not list too many of the tricks, but the first rule is "Take out a pen, or pencil, and a notebook and keep it out at all times, and LOOK BUSY!". If you are a student of ours, you know how often this rule is broken, but at least we try.

Again, most of this is besides the point. What I am trying to get at is why I draw people.

First of all, subbing can be REALLY REALLY boring. After the first 30 seconds of the initial euphoria we bring to the students who forgot their homework that day, everything else is downhill. You should see some of the excitement we bring. Kids yelling up and down the hall that their teacher is gone. Some kids fall to their knees thanking Jesus that their teacher is not there and we are. But after awhile - most kids forget we are there. They use the opportunity of having a sub to gossip, put on makeup, sleep, or "go to the library" - yeah right.

So drawing kids came from boredom. Working at an artsy fartsy school comes in handy for me, so during the dull moments, I ask a kid who can draw to have a "draw off". We draw each other and then I get to say "mine's better". Ok, sometimes mine do suck, but that's where they come from.

Portraits make people happy. Some people may or may not have gone to Knott's Berry Farm to have their caricature done, and for those who haven't I bring happiness. The pictures you see here, are of kids I get to stare at for 5-15 minutes at a time, and while we look at each other, I get to scribble, stare, erase, and chat. It takes away the usual monotony of sitting in front of a bunch of pubescent sleepyheads.

Other subs read the newspaper. Some act like Commando or Hitler. Some subs play air guitar, and others play charades. Some subs rap, and some subs sleep. Some subs just press "play". But I ... like to draw.

Bloggin

You don't know how bad I wish I could blog about things I shouldn't and will not blog about. I'm considering making a new blog under a fake name so I can use other fake names to write stories about people I wish I could gossip about, cuz their stories are much more interesting than my own. And don't worry. If you are reading this I'm not talking about you. The people I wish I could chismiar (gossip) about are usually my neighbors who don't read my blog yet - I hope. But whatever.

And for you who are reading - thanks for the encouragement. I'm glad you like reading about the chaos in my life, and I feel like now the pressure is on. I must please you and continue, and since I didn't do the dishes tonight (cuz they were done in the afternoon) I haven't had my usual "stand in front of the window - stare into space - and ponder blog ideas" moment. So I'll try without my dishwashing enlightenment.

It's been another week since I wrote. The day after I told you peeps to "think three time" about having kids, I was able to get out of the house in 30 minutes from waking up the girls. They got up and I immediately put them in front of a bowl of rice crispies topped with chocolate syrup, changed a diaper, wiped another kids butt, and ran out of the house. I don't even remember where we went, but it was fast, and I felt accomplished for 5 minutes. That doesn't last long, when you have a day like today, when it does take over an hour to go somewhere, and I end up walking back into the house 6 different times when the car is on because:

1. forgot deodorant (oh God forbid)
2. left the wipeys on the counter (God forbid you leave the house without these when the kids are drinking yogurt drinks with no straws or sippy cups)
3. forgot Celia's Jaguar Socks (God forbid you try to put on her shoes without them)
4. forgot the peaches (God forbid you don't at least TRY to offer your kids something besides macaroni and cheese in a day).
5. forgot to lock the windows (God forbid someone robs all of Alex's music gear on my account)
6. had to pee again (yes - God forbid I have to try to maneuver 2 kids into a bathroom with me)

You know what. I can't even remember where we went this morning to make life so difficult. I think we went to Home Depot or the park, or something. Either way, it was rough. Effie freaked cuz she spilled water all over herself and her favorite track of "this is halloween" from Nightmare Before Christmas was skipping and Celia freaked cuz when we got to the park she decided she wanted Effie's shoes.

But when you are all on the park bench, and no one is crying, and you are all eating your burritos with beans, eggs, and cheese wrapped in foil, and everyone has shoes on, and you are in the shade, and no one has fallen on their face off the bench (yet), all the madness starts to subside, and you know everything is OK.

We all made it home in one piece today, and besides Effie almost taking a big crap in someone else's pool, there were no major catastrophies. Thank God.

I'm gonna let the weekend take it's course, and write again soon. But as for now, I'm just checking in to let you know, I'm alive, I'm tired, the dishes are done, and now I can do the laundry and say TTFN. Peace out.